In this given prompt, the parent of a student studying in Kensington Academy wants the new private vendors- Swift Nutrition- to be replaced by another vendor. The parent asserts this statement because he/she thinks that the low-fat and low-calorie meal served by the current vendor is not tasty. Though this argument of the parent seems viable, he/she might hold water as the argument that the parent made lies over some unfounded assumptions. If such assumptions are not substantiated clearly, then they may dramatically weaken the persuasiveness of the conclusion made.
Firstly, the main motive of this letter according to this passage is to complain against the vendors at cafeteria. But, the parent fails to analyze why the old vendors were replaced. The problem might be a financial aspect or may be the case that the children's health have been deteriorated during the tenure of the former vendor. The Kennington Academy could never have come to the conclusion to replace the old vendor without analyzing the issue thoroughly. The parent without thinking about the issues dealt by the school to analyze without any analysis asserts the replacement issue in a definitive tone. Hence, if this aspect is re thought by the parent, then he/she might make the assertion more than a bland statement.
Moreover, speaking about the calories and fat amounts in the cuisines given by the contemporary vendor, the parents asserts that the food is not tastier. But, the parent fails to mention that if the parents of other children too agree with this assertion. The complain holds some weight if there are many people who support it. If the complain is only related to single person, then there might not be any sense made by the whole letter even though if it holds some good content.
Even though the parent asserts of students bringing their own lunch and eating instead of cafeteria food. The matter of eating in cafeteria is regarding the lunch only. The breakfast, supper and as well as the dinner are to be taken care by the parents itself for their children. It may not be a true that each and every day the student takes in the actual correct or more calories in for their breakfast or dinner time, but still, the low fat and low calories may be made by the Kennington Academy in order to maintain the healthy nature of it's students. There might also be other vendors outside the school where students might eat too has to be re thought by the parent in order to come to proper conclusion.
In a nutshell, even though the parent's view is to reduce the health issues in the schools, whose source she/he points at the cafeteria's new vendors, might be re-thinkable because of various factors that are being mentioned earlier in the passage. Hence, if such substantiations are considered by the parent, then she/he might come to the second conclusion with respect to ameliorate the health problems faced by the children.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 502 350
No. of Characters: 2376 1500
No. of Different Words: 223 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.733 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.733 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.479 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 177 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.905 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.411 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 361, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[10]
Message: The adverb 'never' is usually put between 'have' and 'come'.
Suggestion: have never come
...er vendor. The Kennington Academy could never have come to the conclusion to replace the old ve...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 461, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...without analyzing the issue thoroughly. The parent without thinking about the issue...
^^^
Line 5, column 226, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to agree'?
Suggestion: to agree
...n that if the parents of other children too agree with this assertion. The complain holds...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 257, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...children too agree with this assertion. The complain holds some weight if there are many peo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 332, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...here are many people who support it. If the complain is only related to single person, then ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, so, still, then, well, as to, speaking about, such as, as well as, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2435.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 497.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89939637827 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72159896747 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53872835786 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.470824949698 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 738.0 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.3372301055 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.952380952 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6666666667 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.33333333333 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249653377125 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0766507839854 0.0743258471296 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0694206491254 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142388576312 0.128457276422 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0825966915172 0.0628817314937 131% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.99 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.