The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school Last year Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor Swift Nutrition This company serves low fat low calorie meals th

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The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:

Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.

In the letter to the principal, the parent asserts that the school needs to replace their current food vendor, Swift, because the food is bland and students do not like the food. If the school does not do this, the parent claims that there will be serious health consequences for the students of Kensington. While the parent has the interests of the students in mind, his argument is flawed with unsound reasoning.

The parent argues that replacing the food vendor will avoid serious health consequences. He implies that by replacing the food vendor, the students will not need to bring their own unhealthy food; therefore, the students health will not be a problem. However, the reason that the students are not enjoying the current cafeteria food is because the food is healthy. Based on the parents logic, in order to avoid students from bring unhealthy food, the school has to replace the current healthy vendor with a less healthy vendor in order to entice the students. But, this accomplishes exactly the opposite of what the parent argues for. By replacing the healthy vendor, the students health is not protected, but rather compromised.

Moreover, the parent assumes that all students find the food not appetizing based on his son and several of his friends. What type of food does the parent serve at home? Most students appetite are shaped by the food that they eat at home. Because the son and his friends find Swift's food not pleasing, they probably are used to eating less unhealthy food. Lunch food is one meal out of the three daily meals, therefore, it's likely that the son's healthy is already a serious problem becasue of their home diet. The parent should examine himself and his son before calling for the school to switch vendors.

One might argue that the school should serve food that kids want to eat, but the solution is not to replace the food vendor. If you ask all kids, they typically will pick foods that are unhealthy over foods that are healthy. Since the school's is already focused on serving healthy foods, it's inevitable that kids will complain about it. The school's objective is correct because they have hired a food vendor that is focused on nutrition and calories. Is the fact that kids will always complain about healthy food or is the fact that the food is bland? The parent needs to distinguish between these two reasons in his letter to the school principle. If the food is too bland, then the school should pick a better, more appetizing vendor to replace Swift.

Schools should focus on serving food that is nutritious and low in fat and sugar. But the parents argument is dubious. Before the principal can take any action, he needs to understand the reason that the kids are complaining about the current vendor.

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Sentence: Based on the parents logic, in order to avoid students from bring unhealthy food, the school has to replace the current healthy vendor with a less healthy vendor in order to entice the students.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to parents and logic
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to from and bring

Sentence: But the parents argument is dubious.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: parent's argument

Sentence: Lunch food is one meal out of the three daily meals, therefore, it's likely that the son's healthy is already a serious problem becasue of their home diet.
Error: becasue Suggestion: because

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 477 350
No. of Characters: 2235 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.673 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.686 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.221 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.08 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.443 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.48 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5