The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Given argument by a parent of a child studying in private school appears have weak reasoning, lack of clarity on the objective and also absurd conclusion.
Firstly, the parent is building his hypothesis on bunch of children maybe 3 or 4 on deciding the lunch option to be served to the whole school. Also there is no mention of what complains where they actually making, are they unhappy with the quality or quantity or variety of new food being served by newly appointed private vendor in cafeteria. These details needs to be looked into before start questioning on the cafeteria foods and services. For instance it can happen guys appointed for serving are not that friendly or options children have in the menu are very limited or maybe children are just not comfortable with the change happened as they were used to the precious cafeteria services.
Apart from the services of cafeteria, the point made by the parent on the healthiness of diet is very unclear. He doesn't seem clear on the front whether he wants his child have healthy food or not. As he hasn't put any issue regarding the healthiness of the diet being served. Instead he is accepting of the fact the new cafeteria is providing healthy food and that only he is using to make argument regarding new cafeteria healthy diet is making students to bring unhealthy lunches. There is no clarity what exactly he wants to change in cafeteria services. Since he is advising the change of the vendor he needs to provide some clarity on what type of menu he is contemplating will attract their children to stick to cafeteria food along with no compromise on the health portion of the food being served. Because the conclusion of his argument is about health consequences for kensington students, so how exactly he is suggesting school management to replace the cafeteria proving healthy services.
Also as is mentioned above, he has made this argument of the comments of few children, there should be some more feedback details from the other parents regarding the same issue as children's alone cannot decide or are incapable to alone decide what should their lunch conatain.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 367 350
No. of Characters: 1746 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.377 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.757 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.523 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.231 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.322 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.388 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.388 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.21 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 144, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ption to be served to the whole school. Also there is no mention of what complains w...
^^^^
Line 3, column 114, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...healthiness of diet is very unclear. He doesnt seem clear on the front whether he want...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 198, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...nts his child have healthy food or not. As he hasnt put any issue regarding the he...
^^
Line 3, column 204, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: hasn't
...s child have healthy food or not. As he hasnt put any issue regarding the healthiness...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 276, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Instead,
...e healthiness of the diet being served. Instead he is accepting of the fact the new caf...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 558, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... wants to change in cafeteria services. Since he is advising the change of the vendor...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...he cafeteria proving healthy services. Also as is mentioned above, he has made this...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, firstly, look, may, regarding, so, apart from, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1771.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 365.0 441.139720559 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85205479452 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37092360658 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57391391449 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493150684932 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 557.1 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 68.2448602222 57.8364921388 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.230769231 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0769230769 23.324526521 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.30769230769 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.125597186313 0.218282227539 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0524378488707 0.0743258471296 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0376578407237 0.0701772020484 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0831793102662 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0286791251736 0.0628817314937 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.15 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.