The following is from a memo from the advertising director of the Super screen Movie Production Company.
According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public’s lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising.
It may be true that allocating a huge share of budget to advertising can create awareness among people and people may start attending movies produced by Super Screen, but there are many stated and understated assumptions on which the author's argument depends.The advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company fails ought to address evidences that can validate the argument presented.
It might be possible that the survey or research conducting authority has become stringent since past year as compared to studies held in the years before. The stricter authority is anticipating a higher amount of financial returns, because the new movies produced by Super Screen Production House are high budget movies. Only a certain class of the society can afford to see the movie in a cinema hall; rest all people prefer to see it at home, which might lead to lesser returns. Movie tickets might have become expensive now. Also, The evolution of the OTT platforms can also impact the percentage of people going to cinema halls for movies. Author should appropriately address the assumptions stated above.
Author should mention what kind of movies does Super Screen produce? It might be possible that Super Screen Company has started producing more documentaries than dramatic movies. Documentaries can be penchant for fewer type of people in the society as compared to dramatic movies. Author should acknowledge these assumptions without which the argument holds no water.
Yes, allocating a high percentage of budget to advertising may increase awareness of the movies among the people but it does not guarantee the returns. Author should mention facts and figures about the cost required for advertising and analysis showing expected ROIs. It might be possible that the new movies produced by Super Screen Production Company don't have a convincing content. In that case, even though the marketing strategies are improved, people will still avoid attending these movies.
As evidenced, author fails to present a cogent argument to convince the owners to take a position. Author should present a meticulous study for the company to come up with a strong decision.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 349 350
No. of Characters: 1799 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.322 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.155 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.627 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.529 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.367 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.294 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.342 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 235, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...nd understated assumptions on which the authors argument depends.The advertising direct...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 260, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...s on which the authors argument depends.The advertising director of the Super Scree...
^^^
Line 4, column 353, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...uced by Super Screen Production Company dont have a convincing content. In that case...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, may, so, still, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1833.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 347.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28242074928 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31600926901 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66942182027 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.504322766571 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 569.7 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 82.5912374287 57.8364921388 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.5625 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6875 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.125 5.70786347227 37% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258243963991 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0867682638264 0.0743258471296 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0795136294434 0.0701772020484 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158821466865 0.128457276422 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0819204311792 0.0628817314937 130% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 12.3882235529 161% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.