The following appeared as part of a petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group:
“The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit primarily to see our magnificent bird population.”
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
It may be true that the development of hotel in the area of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve will harm the sanctuary, but there are many stated and understated assumptions made by the author and on which author's argument depends.
First of all, the proposed plan will use the very small percentage of the wildlife sanctuary, but this small percentage can actually be a huge hectare of land. Author should mention the exact figures of the proposed plan. Secondly, if the hotel started generating profits they may begin to expand their hotel slowly and gradually.
Youngtown Wildlife Preserve the only place to live for 300 bird species? Isn't it possible to transfer few species of birds to another park or zoo so that the density of birds staying in that area remains same even if the hotel is built?
Writer mentions proposed plan will have disastrous consequence on the species, but developing an hotel will help promote the sanctuary itself. And also author has mentioned that there is no way this sale will help the community but actually this will lead to increased number of tourists to the sanctuary. It will eventually help authorities of sanctuary to maintain the park in a better way through increased amount of revenue generated from tourism. But increased tourism may provoke competitor hotels to build more hotels in that area. Author has nowhere mentioned that this will be the only hotel to be built in that area.
Author has mentioned the hotel authorities promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary; it may happen once the hotel is built, the hotel itself is creating water pollution and sound pollution making the lives of birds and animals devastating. Hotel owners may step back from accepting the responsibility of preserving the sanctuary. Author should mention whether the hotel owners have accepted the aforementioned responsibilty of preserving the wildlife.
Author should more clearly mention the benefits and disadvantages of building the hotels near a wildlife sanctuary. It is difficult to decide whether this will be a damaging step to a wildlife or not, because if any animal lover reads this passage will surely disapprove the plan whereas if a hotel businessman looks at the passage he will accept the plan. But for a layman to decide, it will be difficult to analyse and come up with a decision, as the facts and assumptions provided by the author are insufficient to make a wise decision. Hence, author should provide genuine facts and figures in order to decide whether to build a hotel in the area of wildlife sanctuary will be a feasible option or not.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 437 350
No. of Characters: 2131 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.572 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.876 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.661 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.327 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.345 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 73, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Isn't
...nly place to live for 300 bird species? Isnt it possible to transfer few species of ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 95, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...sequence on the species, but developing an hotel will help promote the sanctuary i...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, whereas, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2169.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 436.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9747706422 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56953094068 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70744324536 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.467889908257 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 683.1 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.2411380525 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.5 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2222222222 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.16666666667 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.121562190979 0.218282227539 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0516591479371 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0397005466964 0.0701772020484 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0778477151755 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0269300561924 0.0628817314937 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 98.500998004 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.