The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where consumption of the plant beneficia is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of beneficia can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of nutritional supplements derived from beneficia. We predict this will dramatically reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the above memo, the author argues that in order to abate absenteeism in schools and work-places people should consume nutritional supplements derived from beneficia. The author supports his argument based on the study report, which states that in nearby East Meria, where consumption of beneficia is very high and people visited doctors only a few times for treatment of cold, which is the most frequently given reason for absences. However, before evaluating the author’s argument three questions need to be answered.
Firstly, the author supports his argument based on a study, which states that people visit a doctor’s clinic only one or two times for coldness. One reader may raise questions about the authenticity of the study. The author provides no justifiable evidence regarding how long ago the study was conducted or how many people participate in that study. There is a possibility that people may not prefer to visit a doctor’s clinic after catching a cold and tend to stay home. Even if this is not the case, maybe because of the weather of East Maria, people tend to catch cold rarely. If any one of the above scenarios is true then, the author’s argument holds no water. If, the author is able to provide more evidence perhaps in the form of a systematic research study then, it will be possible to evaluate the author’s argument to a certain extent.
Secondly, the author argues that coldness is the most frequently given reason for absences in schools and work and after using beneficia people tend to catch a cold less and the absence will reduce in school and workplace without providing any admissible evidence regarding the honesty of the workers and students. Perhaps most of the time students and workers lie about coldness for their absence since a person may be recovered from coldness very quickly. There is a possibility that people tend to use coldness as an excuse for their absence in schools and work-places. If the above scenario is true then the author’s argument is built unreliably. If the author is able to provide more evidence perhaps in the form of a survey report about the authenticity of the absence reason, then the author’s argument will be strengthened.
Thirdly, the author argues that daily use of beneficia will help to reduce absenteeism in schools and work-places without providing any necessitate evidence about beneficia. A reader may ask questions about the efficacy of beneficia. There is a possibility that beneficia is not good for health, though it helps to prevent catching a cold. Perhaps a recent research study shows that beneficia causes other health issues and long-time consuming beneficia impose serious health risks on individuals then, consuming beneficia will not help to reduce absenteeism. In order to rectify the author’s argument, the author must include more evidence regarding beneficia and its effects on the human body.
In the conclusion, the author’s argument stand now is seriously flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author can answer the three questions above and offer more evidence (perhaps in the form of a systematic research study) then, it will be possible to evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation that consuming beneficia will be lucrative and absenteeism will be reduced in schools and work-places.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 547 350
No. of Characters: 2746 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.836 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.02 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.664 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 211 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 156 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 117 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.864 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.226 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.773 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.373 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.373 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 534, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he case, maybe because of the weather of East Maria, people tend to catch cold ra...
^^
Line 2, column 574, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[3]
Message: The adverb 'rarely' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
... East Maria, people tend to catch cold rarely. If any one of the above scenarios is t...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 574, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...eir absence in schools and work-places. If the above scenario is true then the aut...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2814.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 547.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14442413163 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83611736076 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77089346591 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.400365630713 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 886.5 705.55239521 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.2972437535 57.8364921388 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.909090909 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8636363636 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.95454545455 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0829485785605 0.218282227539 38% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0273934563556 0.0743258471296 37% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0309646608986 0.0701772020484 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0588709071106 0.128457276422 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0281047612275 0.0628817314937 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.