The following memo was published by the Welzaton City Commission.
“A recent nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a safety helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, cites a 200 percent increase in the number of serious accidents involving bicycles during the same period. Meanwhile, results of a local survey of frequent bicycle riders indicate that 75 percent of those riders feel “much safer” on busy roads when they wear helmets than when they don’t. Clearly, the best explanation for the rise in bicycle-related accidents is that bicyclists take more risks now than they did ten years ago because they feel safer when they are wearing helmets.
The author cites three surveys related to safety helmets and the results indicate that there have been much more people wearing helmet when bicycling. However, significant more accidents involving bicycle are witnessed these years. The statements attributes it to the feeling of safe when wearing helmet and therefore more risk-taking actions took place. The reasons may be probable, but there could be more explanations regrading lacking of additional information.
First of all, the participants of the first two surveys are likely to be different. As we can see, the first survey is a nationwide study, while the second one may be only valid in a specific region. So, it's not sensible to compare the results from them both without further information. It can be opened to another possibility that the traffic condition in a region has been much worse, which leads to the increasing accidents. If it is in that case, the final conclusion will be much weakened. Moreover, only the proportion of the increase cannot well describe the real situation in the second survey. It is possible that the total amount of serious accidents involving bycicle was really small and only few more accidents would lead to a significant growth in proportion. Thus, to compare the two surveys, further information is needed.
In addition, from the current information, we cannot know the accurate location that those accidents took place. So, the claim that the bycicle riders feel much safer on busy roads cannot support the conclusion. It is possible that the accidents didn't take place on busy roads, rather than in other areas when they feel relaxed and ignore the traffic condition. It reasonable to believe that even when wearing a helmet, one may still be cautious on busy roads. Thus, we cannot attribute the more accidents to the helmet.
Furthermore, even if the helmet can give bycicle riders more feeling of safety, it doesn't representitive that one is likely to take more risks. So, the conclusion only seems sensible at the first glance, for better evaluate the argument, additional information is needed.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 346 350
No. of Characters: 1715 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.313 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.957 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.621 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.211 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.512 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.842 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.491 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 248, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'attribute'.
Suggestion: attribute
...e witnessed these years. The statements attributes it to the feeling of safe when wearing ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 247, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...sion. It is possible that the accidents didnt take place on busy roads, rather than i...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 84, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...cicle riders more feeling of safety, it doesnt representitive that one is likely to ta...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, really, second, so, still, therefore, thus, well, while, in addition, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 55.5748502994 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1767.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 344.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13662790698 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30665032142 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69982716581 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.526162790698 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 553.5 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.013356072 57.8364921388 54% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 93.0 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1052631579 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.10526315789 5.70786347227 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.103580618404 0.218282227539 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0335612903494 0.0743258471296 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0500452670841 0.0701772020484 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0679014181171 0.128457276422 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0492422172854 0.0628817314937 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.