The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurants.
"Butter has now been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. Only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers cannot distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine. Thus, to avoid the expense of purchasing butter and to increase profitability, the Happy Pancake House should extend this cost-saving change to its restaurants in the southeast and northeast as well."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In this argument, the recommendation has been offered by the Business Manager to initiate the use of margarine instead of butter by the chain of Happy Pancake House restaurants.A pilot program has been conducted in southwestern region of United States where the margarine has been secretly replaced by butter that has been appreciated by 98% of the customers. The clients whether didn't distinguish between the taste of both or they considered that these two are synonym to each other. Thus, the manager proposed to the other offshoots of the company to start applying margarine that will cut down their budget to a greater extent and even raise the profit margin.
The above cited recommendation seems to be of utmost benefit as far as cost of production is concerned yet this is completely based on certain dubious evidences likewise, in spite of making customers aware about the difference and health benefits of margarine, the manager is trying to be-fool their age-old clients by not providing them what they are asking for . Also, they extrapolated the results of south region to the north part of state that is not commendable. Along with this,only margarine introduction won't bloom out as the sole factor to increase the profit margins of the company.
First of all, the author here considered that clients were unable to recognize the basic ingredients used in their food items. No doubt, its difficult to find out the taste difference, yet they can't ignore the fact this new tactic can make a blunder in the market, what if any of their customer is allergic to margarine. This will lead to serious legal actions. Instead of cheating, the company should launch new marketing technique in which they inform their customer about the change in the key factors of production. This will present the clear picture in the mind of customers and they can decide accordingly that margarine is better to cure their heart disease and cholesterol related problems in long run.
Furthermore, the manager extrapolated the results of south region to the north one. We can't refute the fact that the taste buds of clients might have developed with so many years that they won't like a slight change in the taste of their favorite dish. Not everyone is health conscious, some people are more focused towards the satisfaction of their appetite and taste buds rather than nourishment value of the eatable. Any change can lead to fall in customer ratio that can adversely effect the profit of company.
Lastly, even introduction of margarine involves basic investment cost as the company has to look for new dealers, sign new agreements etc and this includes investments that can entirely shake the budget. Such steps can't be taken in complete disguise as many people and companies are involved in production, transportation of raw material etc.
To sum up, the author has forgotten to shed light on all these aspects. In the lack of reliable evidences and results any change is prescribed menu ingredients can not only defamilirize the company in market but also degrade their status in hub of other restaurants. The author should recommend to launch marketing programs that informs clients about difference in butter and margarine, conduct a nation wide survey that whether every customer wants to be health conscious or not and then further steps be taken.
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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Let's analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
Only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change. //you don't have
condition 2:
Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not complain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers cannot distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarine. //you don't have
conclusion:
Thus, to avoid the expense of purchasing butter and to increase profitability, the Happy Pancake House should extend this cost-saving change to its restaurants in the southeast and northeast as well. //your argument 2
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flaw:
Don't put two paragraph for introduction. Try this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 561 350
No. of Characters: 2756 1500
No. of Different Words: 278 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.867 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.913 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.607 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 199 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 144 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.05 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.238 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.041 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5