The following memorandum is from the manager of Bagel Mania Bakery.
Recently Bagel Mania replaced sugar with saccharin, a sugar substitute, throughout its bakeries in the Northeast areas of the USA. Contrary to initial expectations, this change did not have an adverse impact on our customer’s preferences. So far, only 10 percent of our customers have grumbled about this change suggesting that an average of 90 customers out 100 have no issues with the use of saccharin in our baked products. Since our customers have not voiced great concern about the use of saccharin instead of sugar, it is evident that we should implement this change in all the branches of Bagel Mania bakeries in rest of the country.
After reading the memorandum the statements made by author seems plausible but these statements are based on many unwarranted assumptions. Therefore, the conclusion from the manager of Bagel Mania Bakery is not valid.
First of all, the manager states that this change did not had any adverse impact on their customer's preferences. But, these are only initial reactions and customer's preferences might change after a span of time. It might have happened that customers had not noticed it after the first eating but after some span of time they might come to know the change in test and might complain about it. Manager must also look at the number of customers who ate these products. It might had happened that the number of customer had decreased after knowing it from others about the change and only those who like saccharin might had came to eat these new products.
In the next line, the manager states that only 10 percent of their customers had grumbled about this change suggesting that an average of 90 customers out of 100 have no issues with the use of saccharin in their baked products. But the managers has not mentioned about the number of customers involved in the survey and conducting survey in limited customers will not be as effective as the survey conducted with large amount of customers. For example, if only 50 customers were involved in the survey then survey will not be as effective as the survey involving 1000 customers because reactions of only 50 people cannot be applied to the liking or disliking of 1000 customers. And also, 10 percent is not a less percentage. It might lead to decrease in the sales of Bagel Mania Bakery. So the managers should also see the change in the sales and profit after implementing this change. And even these 10 percent of customers might tell their known ones about the change made which might lead in the decrease of the sales of Bagel Mania Bakery.
At last, the manager states that he wants to implement this change in all the branches in rest of the country. But results based on only northeast part of the country can't be applied all over the country. Likes and dislikes of people might change place to place so it won't be a good decision to implement this change all over the country. First the manager should do a proper survey in each and every part of the country to get a clear view about likes and dislikes of people living in different parts of the country. Or else, the sales of the Bakery might decrease.
So at last, I want conclude that the statements made by the managers are based on many unwarranted assumptions. So, before implementing this change all over the country the manager should do a proper survey involving people of various age group and it should be done in large quantity.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 488 350
No. of Characters: 2256 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.7 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.623 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.374 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.238 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.014 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.564 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 59, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
...manager states that this change did not had any adverse impact on their customers p...
^^^
Line 3, column 621, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'come'.
Suggestion: come
...only those who like saccharin might had came to eat these new products. In the ne...
^^^^
Line 7, column 168, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...d on only northeast part of the country cant be applied all over the country. Likes ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, so, then, therefore, for example, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 78.0 55.5748502994 140% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 16.3942115768 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2298.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 487.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.71868583162 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69766713281 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4291468285 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.396303901437 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 714.6 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.3930971476 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.428571429 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1904761905 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.52380952381 5.70786347227 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.16581682236 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0654761917119 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0652844330874 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102771963428 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0431978644385 0.0628817314937 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.08 8.32208582834 85% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.