The following is a petition to the city council of Centerville:
"Over the past three years, there has been a marked increase in cases of 'sidewalk rage,' similar to the irrational anger drivers experience on the road, but instead among sidewalk walkers. The result is an increase in assaults, property damage, and disruptions of normal pedestrian traffic. In order to address this growing problem, the council must ban cell phone use on sidewalks. Not only do people texting or using their phones slow down pedestrian traffic, but they are also more likely to walk into the road or bump into other walkers. Children are especially vulnerable because they are too short to be easily seen. Middletown passed such a ban and not only have they heard no complaints, but the reported incidents of sidewalk crime has gone down significantly."
In the given petition to the city council of Centerville, the author contents cell phones should be banned on sidewalks. The writer enumerates sveral factors to espouse the claim. The usage of cell phone brings out increased assults, property damage, and disruption of normal pedestrian traffic. Children are especially vunlearble because they are too short to be seen. In case of Middletown where passed the law of banned cell phone usage, there is no complaints and incidents of sidewalk crime has gone down significantly. Although the argument sounds plausible, copious logical flaws are presented, and the petition needs to be revised to become more irrefutable.
The first point the author described cell phone usage as a sidewalk rage and compared this to irrational anger drivers. However, the important point is the claim should not compare incidents of sidewalks to driving. The severity of driving is more trendmendous than simply using a phone while people walk on the sidewalk, and it can deceisve the readers to imply using a phone on sidewalk is henious crime.
Also, the author mentioned increased reports are found in Centerville. The absolute number of indicents must be given in order to convince that pedestrians are suffering from sidewalk range. If an increased incidens indicates only few more cases, and. severity of incidens are mild, the impacts of such a ban is going to be too big, and people would complain more about the ban.
The comparision of Middletown is not quiet releated. The situation of Middletown can be differented from the situation of Centerville. For example, in case of Middletown where passed such a ban recently, more police officers might be more wary when they patrol and give more tickets since it is newly introduced. Also, residents might have not been complained yet because they did not experience enough to find out uncomfortable problem. The author needs to specify the situation of Middletown such as how long the cell phone usage is prohibited.
Lastly, the author should delineate the side effects and its solution when the city council of Cneterville decide to prohibit the cell phone usage. The petition is not pellucid enough to be convince the readers. In order to ban the cell phone usage, the author is asked to compare negative effects after passing the ban and before. Then he or she could assert that regardless of negative impacts, passing the ban is going to be more powerful and safe to residents. In addition, since cell phones are necessity for modern days, the author can strengthen the idea by giving the alternative solution; for example, the city council can make cell phone booths on sidewalks so that if people need to use the phone, they enter the booths and use it.
The claim based on these poits is not trustworthy. In order to delivery the limpid petition, the author should elucidate inflammatory arguments so that all readers become irrefutable and uncontested.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 15 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 487 350
No. of Characters: 2407 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.698 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.943 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.613 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.292 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.546 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.04 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 442, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'there are no complaints'?
Suggestion: there are no complaints
...sed the law of banned cell phone usage, there is no complaints and incidents of sidewalk crime has gon...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 253, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Severity
...ens indicates only few more cases, and. severity of incidens are mild, the impacts of su...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, lastly, so, then, while, for example, in addition, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2476.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 487.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0841889117 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69766713281 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70754306283 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488706365503 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 789.3 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 19.0 8.76447105788 217% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.231082011 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.04 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.48 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.36 5.70786347227 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.88822355289 203% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.11455273326 0.218282227539 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0340611182489 0.0743258471296 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0369279765607 0.0701772020484 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.062857493 0.128457276422 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0461513223175 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 98.500998004 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.