The following is from a recent email from the Diord Corp. Human Resources Manager:
“Tobor Technologies found that mental health problems and mental illness were responsible for about 15 percent of employee sick days. Tobor amended its employee insurance plan so that workers receive the same coverage for mental illness as they do for physical illness. In addition, the company hired an on-site psychologist and created a system that allows workers to schedule confidential counseling appointments. After one year, the number of sick days used by employees declined by 10 percent. Diord Corp. has had an increase in employee sick days over the past two years, so we should introduce a similar insurance plan and counseling program. These measures will surely reduce employee absenteeism and cause an increase in productivity.”
Write a response in which you examine the argument’s unstated assumptions, making sure to explain how the argument depends on the assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The email from Human Resourse Manager looks reasonable at first glance but when I scrutinize the statements it has rife of holes and assumptions which could be wrong. The argument would be on doubt unless all of the assumptions couled be supported approporiately. The statement two different organizations which are not necessarily the same conditions, also it is possible that the result of the survey was affeted by other parameters and adultrate the results.
The frist provided evidence by statement is about a survey in Tobor Technologies. This survey result says that 15 percent of employee sick day is because of mental problem but it does not provide any detail evidence. It is possible that the employee use that to make an execuse to leave the office for personal jobs or other activities. Also, it does not provide details about different departments that help us to distinguish other parameters. In order to strengthen the statement, it suggests that the writer provide any additional report to make clear the initial situations of the organization.
Another hole in the arsument is that Human Resorce Manager assumes that the situation of two companies are the same and the method which used in Tobor effectively could be beneficial in Droid Crop. There is not any evidences about type or these two companies ranging from type of work, working time to health program, difficulty of jobs. So, any generalization for these two organization not necessary effective. For example, if Tobor's employees work in the office but Droid's workers should work in the factory and under pressure, the resut of performing a method for both of them could be completely different. The writer could provide some additional facts to show these two organization are similar to some extent and support his idea.
Finally, even if two organization are the same and the survey is prepared scientificly, the reduction in the rate of mental problem could have different causes that may not considered in the argument. For example, the company may provide some sport program or special vacation and these activities lead to decline in mental illness. The argument could provide a list of other actions that happened during last year and study each of them on the result to improve cogency of the statement.
In conclusion, although the statement provide attractive result and suggest some actions that may help the company and employees, the writer could not provide persuasive evidences and details to ensure the result of the suggestion
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 2080 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.036 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.731 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.294 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.536 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.56 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 206, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
.... The argument would be on doubt unless all of the assumptions couled be supported appropo...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 265, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ons couled be supported approporiately. The statement two different organizations w...
^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...parameters and adultrate the results. The frist provided evidence by statement is...
^^^
Line 9, column 63, Rule ID: THE_NN_AND_THE_NN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'are'?
Suggestion: are
...rganization are the same and the survey is prepared scientificly, the reduction in...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, look, may, so, then, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2128.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 413.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15254237288 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81199816661 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496368038741 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 681.3 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.2978281393 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.176470588 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2941176471 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.58823529412 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.218282227539 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.0743258471296 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0701772020484 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.128457276422 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0628817314937 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.84 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.