The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population underage ten. We predict that opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The above given argument is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch books. The aforementioned argument states that by opening a cafe within the bookstore, more customers will be attracted, and Monarch Books can better compete with Regal Books, which has opened a cafe recently, which may seem to be logical at first glance. From my perspective, I believe that the argument is correct, assuming the suppositions were correct.
Firstly, to begin with, the author characterised the opinion of the board of directors of Monarch Books and asserts that Monarch Books has a considerable customer base even after being in the same place for 20 years. More people will come to the bookstore if they open a cafe. He recommends reducing the children's section to make room for the cafe. The author states that such a move will allow them to participate more successfully with their competitor Regal Books, who just launched a cafe. Based on the most recent national census, which appears to show a massive decline in the percentage of the total population under ten years old children, the author implies that the section for children's books is removed.
Secondly, to show what the actual percentage decline of children under the age of 10 is, the author has not provided any data. The nation as a whole is taken into account in the census. The data averaged across the nation might not correctly describe the behaviour in the city where the Monarch Book Store is located. Removing the children's section will also reject these possible customers. The author's claim would be much improved if he provided accurate data on the regional decline in the percentage of children under ten and proved that sales of children's books do not account for a large segment of overall profits.
Furthermore, according to the author, opening a café will allow Monarch to bring in more customers and compete more effectively with Regal Books, which just opened its café. A survey showing the customers' favorable opinion of the opening of a café, which he may have done or mentioned, would have significantly strengthened his claim. However, the author has still not made a link between the cafe's establishment and any customer's support for opening a cafe in the bookstore.
In conclusion, the author's argument for opening a cafe within the bookstore of the Monarch book may be correct. Yet, the author based a lot of assumptions before he made his proposal. The proposal is uncertain to provide the expected results in the absence of evidence to support the acceptance made.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 429 350
No. of Characters: 2095 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.551 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.883 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.666 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.816 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 394, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'cafes'' or 'cafe's'?
Suggestion: cafes'; cafe's
...r has still not made a link between the cafes establishment and any customers support...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...in the bookstore. In conclusion, the authors argument for opening a cafe within the ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2146.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 429.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00233100233 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55107846309 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70993833718 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494172494172 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 675.0 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.9094332823 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.947368421 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5789473684 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.10526315789 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.304282771559 0.218282227539 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0945800944913 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0925243589162 0.0701772020484 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.176152984814 0.128457276422 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0616493615833 0.0628817314937 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.37 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.