The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books."We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base bec

Essay topics:

The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.

"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

The board of directors of Monarch Books recommends opening a café in the bookstore to attract more customers. They offer a reasonable line of thought but it is not convincing enough to take a leap to the conclusion that this recommendation will definitely improve their customer base. They claim that since their rival company opened a café, in order to compete with it, they need to open a café as well. However, careful scrutiny of this reasoning reveals little credible support for the author’s recommendation.

For example, the reasoning given by the board does not take into account the popularity of Regal Books, how long Regal Books has been operating, how big of a customer base do they have. If their popularity or customer base is not anywhere close to Monarch books, their worry to compete with them is superfluous. Regal Books probably opened a café to increase its declining customer base. They probably thought that opening a café would increase their popularity among youth. Monarch books, on the other hand, have large enough customer base since they have been running the store for the past 20 years. Indeed the board failed to estimate their rival’s popularity and compare it to theirs before evaluating the recommendation.

Likewise, the board failed to check whether Regal Books performance in terms of customer base and popularity increased after they opened the café. Does the café give any extra profits? Or does the café incur more costs than expected? Did the café increase their customer base or did it decrease? These are some of the fact checks that the board should consider before taking the recommendation for granted. If Regal books started facing loss after opening the café, then the recommendation would likely prove futile for Monarch Books as well.

Finally, the board decided to build the café by replacing the children’s section. They claim that this section would become less popular because of decline in children numbers in national census. However, they failed to check whether the numbers decreased in the area of the bookstore as well. The overall children number would have come down in the country, but is it case in the city as well? Or did the number of children even increase in the city? This is indeed a very important flaw in their reasoning for jumping to the recommendation. If there is no change in the number of children in the city, then Monarch Books will probably lose out on the child customer base by going ahead with the proposal.

In conclusion, the board’s argument is unpersuasive as it stands. By taking into account the aforementioned relevant factors, the board will probably be making a more informed decision. Without this kind of knowledge, especially the validity check on the coincidence of census survey and the performance of the rival company after opening the café, the recommendation will remain unsupported and irrelevant.

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Average: 6.9 (3 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 604, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Indeed,
...unning the store for the past 20 years. Indeed the board failed to estimate their riva...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 307, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...omer base or did it decrease? These are some of the fact checks that the board should consi...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, however, if, likewise, so, then, well, for example, in conclusion, kind of, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2473.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 482.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13070539419 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76156354111 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.44398340249 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 762.3 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.3842838183 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.1153846154 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5384615385 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.11538461538 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.328498085631 0.218282227539 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0974545479354 0.0743258471296 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0935598309244 0.0701772020484 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.194529418887 0.128457276422 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0889127934673 0.0628817314937 141% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.31 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 482 350
No. of Characters: 2372 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.686 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.921 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.604 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.538 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.218 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.5 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5