"The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company. "According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."
The advertising director of Super Screen Movie Production Company is asserting that their company should allocated a greater share of its budget next year to increase advertising which would inturn increase the number of viewers for their movies. He bases his assertion on the increased percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers ,albeit the number of people who attended the movies was less in the considered year. To further support his conclusion , the author states that since the reviews are positive it means that the quality of movie is good but it lacks public awareness which would be augmented if they increase advertising.The argument seems probable at first , but on closer scrutiny, it is seen that the argument provides scant evidence that can prove the validity of the recommendation made.
Firstly,the author states that the number of people watching Super Screen produced movies have plummeted.The author claims this on the basis of a certain report , nowhere does the author provide us with any statistics stating the exact amount of decrease indicating it to be a substantial one.Also the fact that the author mentions the word 'attended' states that he is claiming people visiting the theatres.The assumption is still dubious as nowadays movies have a better reach in OTT platforms like Netflix and Amazon as compared to a movie theater. The failure of author to provide us with a comprehensive understanding of the report weakens his argument.
Secondly, the major assumption on which the director bases his argument which is the increase in positive reviews of Super Screen movies during the past year.This assumption is incogent as it does not provide us with any information proving the authenticity of the reviewers who did review these movies. As these critics must be well established to create a significant difference in the minds of the common people. Also the percentage increase is not clearly stated by the author , as an increase should be substantial enough to create a difference. Since an increase could amount to a 1% 10% as well as 50% as absence of it would pose a threat to the argument thus weakening it inevitably.
Last but not the least,the author hastily concludes that the problem is not with the quality of movies but with the awareness of the movies.The author inherently assumes that their movies are good and people would watch them if they were aware of it.Having said that , even if that was true the author does not state the way he will create awareness or how impactful will the campaign be. As advertising campaigns are not cheaper and they would take a substantial amount of money from their budget.The director should have taken opinions of other people in the industry to better evaluate the quality aspect of their moving before concluding that the problem is with the awareness of the movie.
In sum, the author's argument is filled with flaws and incomplete and incogent reasons.To make his argument more persuasive the author should have provided us with a comprehensive study of the report which claimed the decrease in the amount of people . He should also have provided evidence stating the authenticity of the reviewers and the increase in percentage of reviews.Moreover, the author should cogently analyse the quality of the movie along with other aspects of it before attributing its decrease to lack of awareness.Had the author kept the above suggestions and points in mind, his argument would have been bolstered much better with valid facts, evidences or statistics. The argument would also be more convincing and well-reasoned.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 603 350
No. of Characters: 2965 1500
No. of Different Words: 249 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.955 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.917 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.621 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 232 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 154 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 114 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 40.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 23.005 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.374 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.603 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.202 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 337, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e of positive reviews by movie reviewers ,albeit the number of people who attended...
^^
Line 1, column 457, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... year. To further support his conclusion , the author states that since the review...
^^
Line 1, column 641, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... augmented if they increase advertising.The argument seems probable at first , but ...
^^^
Line 1, column 677, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ing.The argument seems probable at first , but on closer scrutiny, it is seen that...
^^
Line 4, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...of the recommendation made. Firstly,the author states that the number of people...
^^^^
Line 4, column 106, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...r Screen produced movies have plummeted.The author claims this on the basis of a ce...
^^^
Line 4, column 161, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ms this on the basis of a certain report , nowhere does the author provide us with...
^^
Line 4, column 294, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
...e indicating it to be a substantial one.Also the fact that the author mentions the w...
^^^^
Line 4, column 294, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...e indicating it to be a substantial one.Also the fact that the author mentions the w...
^^^^
Line 4, column 407, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...s claiming people visiting the theatres.The assumption is still dubious as nowadays...
^^^
Line 7, column 159, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...uper Screen movies during the past year.This assumption is incogent as it does not p...
^^^^
Line 7, column 305, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... reviewers who did review these movies. As these critics must be well established ...
^^
Line 7, column 417, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ence in the minds of the common people. Also the percentage increase is not clearly ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 481, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ease is not clearly stated by the author , as an increase should be substantial en...
^^
Line 7, column 626, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...a 1% 10% as well as 50% as absence of it would pose a threat to the argument thus...
^^
Line 10, column 23, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
... inevitably. Last but not the least,the author hastily concludes that the probl...
^^^^
Line 10, column 141, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...es but with the awareness of the movies.The author inherently assumes that their mo...
^^^
Line 10, column 251, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Having
...uld watch them if they were aware of it.Having said that , even if that was true the a...
^^^^^^
Line 10, column 267, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...f they were aware of it.Having said that , even if that was true the author does n...
^^
Line 10, column 499, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ntial amount of money from their budget.The director should have taken opinions of ...
^^^
Line 13, column 13, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...wareness of the movie. In sum, the authors argument is filled with flaws and incom...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 87, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...aws and incomplete and incogent reasons.To make his argument more persuasive the a...
^^
Line 13, column 250, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...med the decrease in the amount of people . He should also have provided evidence s...
^^
Line 13, column 375, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Moreover
...d the increase in percentage of reviews.Moreover, the author should cogently analyse the...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 529, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Had
...uting its decrease to lack of awareness.Had the author kept the above suggestions a...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, then, thus, well, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 28.8173652695 177% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 77.0 55.5748502994 139% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3032.0 2260.96107784 134% => OK
No of words: 590.0 441.139720559 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13898305085 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.92848004997 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81679579368 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 253.0 204.123752495 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.428813559322 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 942.3 705.55239521 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 42.0 22.8473053892 184% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 139.456909445 57.8364921388 241% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 216.571428571 119.503703932 181% => OK
Words per sentence: 42.1428571429 23.324526521 181% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.70786347227 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 25.0 5.25449101796 476% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166889947954 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0611774721821 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0651311732129 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101809468513 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0480047112378 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 23.8 14.3799401198 166% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 28.85 48.3550499002 60% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 19.7 12.197005988 162% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.42 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.01 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 18.8 11.1389221557 169% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.9071856287 160% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.