The following appeared in a memo at XYZ company.
"When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine."
The author of this argument is trying to favour Delany Personnel Firm as opposed to the financially cheaper Walsh Firm. The author favours Delany over Walsh by stating that last year people who chose Delany found jobs quickly as opposed to ones who did not.He further supports his argument by stating that 8 years ago when XYZ was using Walsh only half of the workers found jobs. Also author states that Delany is superior as it has bigger staff and more number of offices.Finally, the author concludes by saying that the average time for finding jobs was six months for Delany and nine for Walsh.The author’s argument rests on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions which render the argument unconvincing.
Firstly,the author states that Delany helped in creating resumes and developing interview skills.Also the author further states that the employees who took the services of Delany secured a job more quickly than the ones who did not.The assertion is dubious as the author nowhere states the nature of the job . For instance, the people who did not take the services of Delany might have secured a better job than the ones who were a part of Delany.Since the author only states that the people who opted for Delany got jobs quicker as it is quite possible that the others secured a much high paying job .The author should have provided us with evidence stating the nature of the jobs, the salary, its perks etc to give a much cogent picture of Delany’s services.
Secondly,the author takes support of the fact that eight years ago when their company was using the services of Walsh only half of the workers that they laid off found jobs in a year.This evidence does not help the author’s argument in any way as the situation the author is considering happened eight years ago .It is quite likely that the changing economic and socio-political conditions would render the same effect as Delany had today on XYZ.Moreover the author does not provide us with the amount of workers that secured the job, he only states that half of the workers secured job in one year. It is possible that this half constitutes to more people than the ones who used Delany’ services.
Last but not the least,the author states that Delany is superior to Walsh by stating that Delany has a bigger staff and more number of offices.The author also states that Delany’s clients took an average of six months to find a job as opposed to nine which Walsh clients took.It is quite likely that Walsh has a bigger success ratio as compared to Delany and has more competent employees as compared to Delany.Also the time period the author states might not be sufficient to prove that a company is more competent than another.For instance a person who secured a job in six months with Delany’s services has a pay of $70,000 in a year as opposed to Walsh candidate who took nine months to secure a job but has a pay of $1,00,000 a year. This would translate that Walsh candidate secured a better job even though he struggled more for it. Also the fact that Walsh is cheaper than Delany does more to oppose the author’s argument than to support it .
In conclusion, the author's argument is filled with flaws and incomplete and incogent reasons.To make his argument more persuasive the author should have provided us with evidence stating the nature of jobs both candidates from Delany and Walsh secured.He should not correlate things that happened eight years ago and the things that happen in the present . He should consider all other factors happening in the course of eight years before concluding that Delany is better than Walsh.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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... quickly as opposed to ones who did not.He further supports his argument by statin...
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...sh only half of the workers found jobs. Also author states that Delany is superior a...
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...bigger staff and more number of offices.Finally, the author concludes by saying that th...
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...ix months for Delany and nine for Walsh.The author’s argument rests on a series of ...
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... argument unconvincing. Firstly,the author states that Delany helped in cre...
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...resumes and developing interview skills.Also the author further states that the empl...
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...resumes and developing interview skills.Also the author further states that the empl...
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... more quickly than the ones who did not.The assertion is dubious as the author nowh...
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...hor nowhere states the nature of the job . For instance, the people who did not ta...
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...than the ones who were a part of Delany.Since the author only states that the people ...
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... quite possible that the others secured a much high paying job .The author should have...
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...ture of Delany’s services. Secondly,the author takes support of the fact that e...
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...that they laid off found jobs in a year.This evidence does not help the author’s arg...
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... is considering happened eight years ago .It is quite likely that the changing eco...
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...s considering happened eight years ago .It is quite likely that the changing econo...
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... same effect as Delany had today on XYZ.Moreover the author does not provide us with the...
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... same effect as Delany had today on XYZ.Moreover the author does not provide us with the...
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...any’ services. Last but not the least,the author states that Delany is superior t...
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...bigger staff and more number of offices.The author also states that Delany’s client...
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...pposed to nine which Walsh clients took.It is quite likely that Walsh has a bigger...
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...mpetent employees as compared to Delany.Also the time period the author states might...
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...mpetent employees as compared to Delany.Also the time period the author states might...
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... company is more competent than another.For instance a person who secured a job in ...
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... months to secure a job but has a pay of ,00,000 a year. This would translate that...
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...b even though he struggled more for it. Also the fact that Walsh is cheaper than Del...
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...the author’s argument than to support it . In conclusion, the authors argumen...
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...to support it . In conclusion, the authors argument is filled with flaws and incom...
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...aws and incomplete and incogent reasons.To make his argument more persuasive the a...
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...andidates from Delany and Walsh secured.He should not correlate things that happen...
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...nd the things that happen in the present . He should consider all other factors ha...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, moreover, second, secondly, so, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 38.0 11.3162921348 336% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 48.0 33.0505617978 145% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 58.6224719101 107% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3014.0 2235.4752809 135% => OK
No of words: 623.0 442.535393258 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8378812199 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.99599519102 4.55969084622 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50458856836 2.79657885939 90% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 215.323595506 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.365971107544 0.4932671777 74% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 930.6 704.065955056 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 13.0 4.99550561798 260% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.2370786517 59% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 51.0 23.0359550562 221% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 201.834916041 60.3974514979 334% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 251.166666667 118.986275619 211% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 51.9166666667 23.4991977007 221% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 7.91666666667 5.21951772744 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 32.0 7.80617977528 410% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0957565921766 0.243740707755 39% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0447216141046 0.0831039109588 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0295985006117 0.0758088955206 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0617624741818 0.150359130593 41% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0193765266347 0.0667264976115 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 27.3 14.1392134831 193% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 28.17 48.8420337079 58% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 22.0 12.1743820225 181% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.68 12.1639044944 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.6 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 100.480337079 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 11.8971910112 147% => OK
gunning_fog: 22.4 11.2143820225 200% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.