Techcorporation is our top pick for investment this term We urge all of our clients to invest in this new company For the first time in ten years a company that has developed satellite technology has been approved by the FTA to compete with the current sa

Essay topics:

Techcorporation is our top pick for investment this term. We urge all of our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed satellite technology has been approved by the FTA to compete with the current satellite provider. That company is Techcorporation. A consumer survey last year indicated that over eighty percent of respondents were dissatisfied with the current satellite television provider and would want to switch to another provider if the industry were not a monopoly. Thus, the new venture of Techcorporation into satellite television will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest now.

The given newsletter is trying to make a pitch to all the investor and asking them to invest in technocorporation.The author of this argument is trying to support the above stated pitch by saying that for the first time in ten years an FTA approved satellite is developed by the company to compete with other providers.To support the argument the author presents a consumer survey conducted last year in which he concludes that 80 percent of the customers would want to change their current satellite provider and choose a new one .This argument rests on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions, and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.

Firstly,the point that the author is trying to make by stating that for the first time in ten years , technocorporation is the only one with an FTA approved satellite is quite specious.Since the company has now got the approval of FTA , it is quite likely that it still has some room for improvement . On the other hand looking at all their competitors who already have a working satellite would definitely have made some tweaks in their satellite to augment its functionality.The fact that the author does not provide any statistical evidence to compare how their FTA approved satellite is better than their competitors makes the argument dubious.

Secondly,the consumer survey that the author states where the customers are dissatisfied by their current satellite providers is spurious at best.The author bluntly states that eighty percent of the customers are dissatisfied without providing the total amount of people who participated in the survey .Also the author does not provide us with the age group in case of the survey , the survey should contain the point of view of youngsters as well as adults in order to make it more coherent. Hence the authors reliance on the survey without providing enough evidence makes the argument weak.

Finally, even if we consider that the customers are dissatisfied by the current provider ,then they could change their satellite provider to anyone but technocorporation. The author hastily assumes that all the customer would opt for technocorporation which is preposterous.Since we live in a competitive world , looking at the progress of technocorporation it might happen that the current providers as well as others would start providing additional benefits to the customers like addition of new channels , decreasing costs etc. The author overlooks the fact that other providers will up their game and not give away their customers.

In sum, the argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands.In order to make his argument more persuasive the author should provide the statistical evidence on how their satellite is better than their competitors and also provide the detailed analysis of the consumer survey depicting the total number of consumers as well as their age groups etc. Had the author kept the above suggestions and points in mind, his argument would have been bolstered much better with valid facts, evidences or statistics. The argument would also be more convincing and well-reasoned.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 115, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ing them to invest in technocorporation.The author of this argument is trying to su...
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Suggestion: To
...company to compete with other providers.To support the argument the author present...
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Line 1, column 404, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...a consumer survey conducted last year in which he concludes that 80 percent of th...
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Line 1, column 532, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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... satellite provider and choose a new one .This argument rests on a series of unsub...
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Suggestion: This
...atellite provider and choose a new one .This argument rests on a series of unsubstan...
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Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...unpersuasive as it stands. Firstly,the point that the author is trying to make...
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Line 4, column 100, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...ing that for the first time in ten years , technocorporation is the only one with ...
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Line 4, column 186, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Since
...TA approved satellite is quite specious.Since the company has now got the approval of...
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... company has now got the approval of FTA , it is quite likely that it still has so...
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Line 4, column 300, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...t it still has some room for improvement . On the other hand looking at all their ...
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Suggestion: The
... satellite to augment its functionality.The fact that the author does not provide a...
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... makes the argument dubious. Secondly,the consumer survey that the author states ...
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Suggestion: The
...satellite providers is spurious at best.The author bluntly states that eighty perce...
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Line 6, column 302, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...of people who participated in the survey .Also the author does not provide us with...
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Suggestion: Also
... people who participated in the survey .Also the author does not provide us with the...
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Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... people who participated in the survey .Also the author does not provide us with the...
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Line 6, column 348, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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... the author does not provide us with the age group in case of the survey , the su...
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Line 6, column 381, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...ith the age group in case of the survey , the survey should contain the point of ...
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Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ults in order to make it more coherent. Hence the authors reliance on the survey with...
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Line 6, column 505, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...der to make it more coherent. Hence the authors reliance on the survey without providin...
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Line 8, column 89, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...are dissatisfied by the current provider ,then they could change their satellite p...
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Suggestion: Since
...technocorporation which is preposterous.Since we live in a competitive world , lookin...
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Line 8, column 311, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...ous.Since we live in a competitive world , looking at the progress of technocorpor...
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Line 8, column 508, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
... customers like addition of new channels , decreasing costs etc. The author overlo...
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Suggestion: In
...and therefore unconvincing as it stands.In order to make his argument more persuas...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, look, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, well, as well as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 33.0505617978 124% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 58.6224719101 107% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 12.9106741573 163% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2622.0 2235.4752809 117% => OK
No of words: 500.0 442.535393258 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.244 5.05705443957 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72870804502 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10434993976 2.79657885939 111% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 215.323595506 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.446 0.4932671777 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 816.3 704.065955056 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 11.0 4.99550561798 220% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 20.2370786517 54% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 45.0 23.0359550562 195% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 174.070708536 60.3974514979 288% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 238.363636364 118.986275619 200% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 45.4545454545 23.4991977007 193% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.1818181818 5.21951772744 233% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 25.0 7.80617977528 320% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 10.2758426966 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169868457615 0.243740707755 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0694574297299 0.0831039109588 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0894583221091 0.0758088955206 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112717451271 0.150359130593 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0967494805062 0.0667264976115 145% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 26.0 14.1392134831 184% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 25.8 48.8420337079 53% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 20.8 12.1743820225 171% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.0 12.1639044944 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.77 8.38706741573 105% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 100.480337079 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 55.0 11.8971910112 462% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 20.0 11.2143820225 178% => OK
text_standard: 26.0 11.7820224719 221% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.