The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the application written for a small-business loan, the author concludes that the new jazz music club in Monroe will be greatly profitable. The author bases the conclusion on various premises, which if true, might indicate that the conclusion holds water. However, the author must provide answers to following three questions before the validity of the conclusion can be assessed further.
First of all, the author must answer the question- is the 100,000 number of people in the annual function of jazz music last summer so great that it is sufficient to establish the jazz music as popular genre in Monroe?. What if the last summer occupancy of the spectators was just an anamoly and the trend is unlikely to continue in coming years? For instance, there are lots of cases of popular artists doing concerts in small towns with remarkable success even
if the town is not exactly known for music loving people. Thus, the author must find the answer for the question regarding the availablity or occupancy of the audience in the festival, weather or not the trend is likely to follow.
Moreover, the author must confirm weather or not the well-known jazz musicians originating from Monroe currently reside within the city. The musicians usually have a nomadic lifestyle and they rarely get chance to stay in their home town even if they belong to that place. For instance, many Canadian actors and singer have permanently or temporarily migrated to United States during their career. Answer to this question would help the author to strengthen the conclusion of the argument.
Finally, the author must answer the question regarding the compliance of the nationwide survey in context of Monroe. What if the survey based on other larger cities is not applicable for the city of Monroe. What exactly is the proposition of local people in the survey? The exact data of how much the residents of the Monroe city spend per year on jazz entertainment is essential to strength the conclusion drawn by the author.
To conclude, the author may have made a valid point in the application, but, without the answers to above mentioned three questions, the plausibility of the conclusion will remain pretty bleak. Answers to these questions would greatly help to evaluate the
prediction.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 378 350
No. of Characters: 1859 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.409 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.918 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.564 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.235 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.48 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In the application written for a small-b...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 207, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...e conclusion on various premises, which if true, might indicate that the conclusio...
^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e conclusion can be assessed further. First of all, the author must answer the...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 468, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...small towns with remarkable success even if the town is not exactly known for mus...
^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... or not the trend is likely to follow. Moreover, the author must confirm weathe...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...gthen the conclusion of the argument. Finally, the author must answer the ques...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...h the conclusion drawn by the author. To conclude, the author may have made a ...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 261, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tions would greatly help to evaluate the prediction.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, then, thus, well, for instance, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1905.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 378.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03968253968 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63521943228 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521164021164 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 578.7 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.4260185497 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.058823529 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2352941176 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.35294117647 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.218344132323 0.218282227539 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0704588739285 0.0743258471296 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.09436529349 0.0701772020484 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109943133429 0.128457276422 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0629954894832 0.0628817314937 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.