GRE Argument: An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author of the prompt states that "an international development organization" came up with a new breed of millet and it can be the panacea for the nation of Tagus, whose nation is impoverished and lacking in vitamin A. To begin with, I would like to draw attention to a hole, which is the name of the organization that developed the product of millet. Moreover, what is this organization's previous accomplishments? Did they engineered a nourishment before? Did they implement the same or even another product to a food scale of a country and succeeded? Is there a relationship between these providers and the product's apologists? The author seemed a bit precipitous in jumping into conclusions, however, I believe that importing a food product into a country necessitates ruminations first.
What strikes me in the paragraph is the sentence stating that the nation is impoverished. Thus, one might conclude that since the people are extremely poor in Tagus, they end up with eating foods such as millet. Would not it be better if the government would lean to a more nutricious food that is also rich in Vitamin A but also protein? Did the required research made on other foods rich in vitamin A? Is there any possibility that a better option might be available? The author gives no information about this pinpoint.
Moreover, a big presumption made in the passage is the author's assertion that the people of Tagus will be cherishing this new kind of millet with ease. However, whether the taste of this new millet will be the same or whether it will be used in the same recipes that the people of Tagus enjoys are not clear. Have they done any research on that? Even if so, the author does not state any. Also, the fact that millet is a food that have a great proportion in the menus of the people does not necessarily mean that people like it and enjoy it, just like it does not mean that they are going to like the new product either.
Another problem between the lines of the paragraph is that the author assumes that the farmers will accept cultivating their lands with this new kind of millet since the government will be supporting them for buying the crops of it, which are relatively more expensive. On the other hand, there is no researched made about the cultivation process of this new millet crops. Will they require the same or less amount of effort for the farmers? Will the yield be the same or more per acre? There is no information given, thus, we cannot assume that the farmers will be pleased with this new product. If they deprecate it, then all the crops imported by the government will be thrown out and this is going to be quite detrimental for an economy of a nation, especially if its nation is impoverished.
All said, the questions to be asked, in my humble opinion, are, many. The international development organization needs to be investigated before any decision about import. Moreover, an in-depth analysis is required in order to see what the people of Tagus want. Also, whether the new product will be a subsidiary for the latter is unknown, since its taste or form is not analyzed and compared to the previous one. Unless these questions are answered and unless the authorized people are sure about all the assumptions the author made, the predicted result might or might not be achieved.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not exactly. maybe the subsides can't cover the cost.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 582 350
No. of Characters: 2686 1500
No. of Different Words: 248 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.912 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.615 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.649 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.549 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.263 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.455 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 384, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...he product of millet. Moreover, what is this organizations previous accomplishments?...
^^^^
Line 2, column 438, Rule ID: DID_PAST[2]
Message: Did you mean 'engineer'?
Suggestion: engineer
...ions previous accomplishments? Did they engineered a nourishment before? Did they implemen...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 226, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...ting foods such as millet. Would not it be better if the government would lean to ...
^^
Line 4, column 320, Rule ID: A_BUT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'a bit'?
Suggestion: A bit
...cious food that is also rich in Vitamin A but also protein? Did the required research...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 56, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... presumption made in the passage is the authors assertion that the people of Tagus will...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 420, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'food'.
Suggestion: food
...tate any. Also, the fact that millet is a food that have a great proportion in the men...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, so, then, thus, kind of, such as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 39.0 19.6327345309 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 28.8173652695 177% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2770.0 2260.96107784 123% => OK
No of words: 582.0 441.139720559 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.75945017182 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91168771031 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73830338074 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 248.0 204.123752495 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426116838488 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 877.5 705.55239521 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.463386818 57.8364921388 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.5172413793 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0689655172 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.68965517241 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.236409512438 0.218282227539 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0624846220359 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0645944694882 0.0701772020484 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142344126904 0.128457276422 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0367412055624 0.0628817314937 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 98.500998004 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.