GRE sample argument pool essay topic 169
The following appeared in a newsletter published by the Appleton school district.
"In a recent study more than 5,000 adolescents were asked how often they ate meals with their families. Almost 30 percent of the teens said they ate at least seven meals per week with their families. Furthermore, according to the same survey, teens who reported having the most family meals per week were also the ones least likely to have tried illegal drugs, tobacco, and alcohol. Family meals were also associated with lower rates of problems such as low grades in school, low self-esteem, and depression. We therefore recommend that families have as many meals together as possible. We predict that doing so will greatly benefit adolescents and turn troubled teens away from bad behaviors."
Write a response in which you discuss which questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the newsletter, the writers recommend that families have as many meals together as possible, as this will have a positive impact on adolescents and help troubled teens stay away from harmful activities. However, the conclusion relies on three unfounded assumptions that significantly weaken the validity of the recommendation if left unsubstantiated. The following three questions must be answered in order to better evaluate the recommendation.
Firstly, was the survey, which asked teens about the number of meals they ate per week with their families, conducted in a scientific manner? It could be possible that the survey was only conducted for students attending a private institution in an affluent neighborhood. These students would be able to spend a lot more time with their families in the evenings than students who may have only one parent who works full-time to provide for them. If this were found to be the case, it would significantly weaken the argument made by the writers.
Second, was the data regarding the students who have tried drugs, tobacco, and alcohol accurate? Students would have an incentive to lie about not having tried these vices as they could lead to trouble. Perhaps a student only secretly smokes, when alone. Hence, it would be impossible to determine, whether such a student has used tobacco without them admitting to it themselves. If this is the case, then the writers’ argument does not hold water.
Finally, is it possible that it is just a coincidence that students who more frequently have family meals, are the ones with lesser problems? Just because the two cases are associated does not mean that having a greater number of meals with one’s family is the reason for a student having better academic performance and staying away from trouble. It is possible that a student studies 3 hours a day and also has most of their meals with their family. In this case, the number of hours a student studies would influence their grades more than having meals with their family. If this is the case then the argument made by the writers is unreasonable.
In conclusion, while it is possible that having a greater number of meals per week with their families significantly benefitted the students, the above questions must be answered before the validity of the recommendation can be evaluated. Therefore, the writers should find evidence regarding: the backgrounds students taking the survey came from, whether data about students using tobacco, drugs or alcohol is credible, and whether there were no other factors involved which could have led to a better lifestyle by students.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 431 350
No. of Characters: 2144 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.556 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.974 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.668 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.684 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.165 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.33 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to better evaluate the recommendation. Firstly, was the survey, which asked tee...
^^^
Line 3, column 119, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a scientific manner" with adverb for "scientific"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...per week with their families, conducted in a scientific manner? It could be possible that the survey w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...writers’ argument does not hold water. Finally, is it possible that it is just ...
^^^
Line 7, column 576, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...re than having meals with their family. If this is the case then the argument made...
^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t made by the writers is unreasonable. In conclusion, while it is possible that...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, regarding, second, so, then, therefore, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2213.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 431.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13457076566 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55637350225 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78703647458 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.480278422274 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 675.9 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.3371044689 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.473684211 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6842105263 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.10526315789 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.144027375977 0.218282227539 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0528066343916 0.0743258471296 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0522941360387 0.0701772020484 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0860813378455 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.051088782929 0.0628817314937 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.