An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The given argument, albeit seems reasonable at the first glance, has many flaws in it. if the author does not correct it, it could lead to serious health issues which in turn could exacerbate the already worsened problem.
first of all, the international development organization has noticed deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of tagus and would like to respond and take action for it. it is noticed that, they are planning to introduce a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. but, there is no evidence stating whether this new breed is in supply or that it has been tested and verified to yield good results. if the new millet has not undergone any safety check or if its reliability has not been proved yet, then how could it be administered to the people? what would happen if it does not yield fruitful results or that it is not effective and produces counter effects?
Secondly, there is a mention regarding the incentives to be paid to farmers in order to cultivate the seeds of millets which cost more. On what basis has been the price fixed? is it because it is going to be widely used? also, the farmers may not be in a position to farm such product if they had not been taken care of well by the government. A detailed study has to be made so that the organization can ensure the product to yield good results keeping in mind various factors like fertilizers, soil fertility and climatic conditions. Moreover, those farmers in debt, if not properly taken care of, may not agree to harvest millets.
Thirdly, a 100% assurance is given by the author that, people will readily adopt the new variety since it is the staple food of tagus. but what the author fails to notice is that, how will people readily accept a new product without knowing its implications? Furthermore, residents may be scared that it could lead to damaging effects tantamount to adding oil in the already lit fire.
Finally, the argument states that the government should do everything it can to promote the new variety in order to combat vitamin A deficiency. but, instead of taking hasty decisions, the government can think of adopting several other measures in order to mitigate the problem. The reason behind this is that, the treasury will be dearth of money in taking up the task of achieving something that may or may not yield a correct outcome.
Hence to conclude, we can sum up the facts that the given argument posits flaws which if not taken into account could lead to the destruction of mankind in tagus. Experiments must be conducted in animals and the results should be justified before adopting the procedure. also, a backup method could be thought of if in case the given method fails, so that the government need not face money related issues in future.so, a survey could be conducted and found out whether people are willing to try the new variety of millet.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 506 350
No. of Characters: 2316 1500
No. of Different Words: 234 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.743 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.577 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.469 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.545 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.679 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...bate the already worsened problem. first of all, the international development o...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 405, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ted and verified to yield good results. if the new millet has not undergone any sa...
^^
Line 5, column 554, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...could it be administered to the people? what would happen if it does not yield fruit...
^^^^
Line 9, column 177, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Is
...On what basis has been the price fixed? is it because it is going to be widely use...
^^
Line 9, column 222, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
... because it is going to be widely used? also, the farmers may not be in a position t...
^^^^
Line 13, column 136, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...y since it is the staple food of tagus. but what the author fails to notice is that...
^^^
Line 17, column 146, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...n order to combat vitamin A deficiency. but, instead of taking hasty decisions, the...
^^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...r may not yield a correct outcome. Hence to conclude, we can sum up the facts th...
^^^^^
Line 21, column 87, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...t the given argument posits flaws which if not taken into account could lead to th...
^^
Line 21, column 272, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...ustified before adopting the procedure. also, a backup method could be thought of if...
^^^^
Line 21, column 407, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...ment need not face money related issues in future.so, a survey could be conducted and fou...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, well, as to, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 12.9520958084 193% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2393.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 506.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72924901186 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7428307748 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5374208838 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 204.123752495 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.48814229249 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 743.4 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.8407881397 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.772727273 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.63636363636 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.277786477088 0.218282227539 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.07359825928 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0750304868372 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125645676829 0.128457276422 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0943611769717 0.0628817314937 150% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.45 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.