An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
This paper is a suggestion to the government of Tagus to promote the new breed of millet which is rich in vitamin A and developed by an international development organization. The study of impoverishment is inappropriate as there is a dearth of statistical data, information and incisive research and case study. Moreover, even the engineered breed is rich in vitamin A, the side effects or reaction of this breed is not mentioned and no proper evidence is provided in the paper. The reason or a cause for the deficiency is also not mentioned. The position of the current Tagus government is also not delineated as is it capable enough to provide a subsidy or not. Hence, the statement is lacking with proof and information to prejudice and implementation of the suggestion.
Firstly, the reason for the paucity of vitamin A in people of Tagus is not mentioned and analyze so to take further decisions. the reason might be because of the other food sources or practices done by people. The given deficiency is invalid as no exact number of data is given or may be analysis might done in only one part of Tagus not nationwide.
Secondly, the engineered breed of millet is might be rich in vitamin A but lacking in other nutrition elements. so ameliorating the quality of millet is one of the solutions to deal with the problem. The author is suggesting the subsidies of the crop but, is the nation is capable of providing the subsidy? so no analytical data is given.
Moreover, even author is suggesting promoting the type of millet, there is no assurance that people will buy it. They might find an alternative to this problem. So even if people adopted the new breed of millet, there is no proof of terminating the issue.
In totality, people might adopt new millet but, the effectiveness of the result is not analyzed as no prior study is done on the cause of deficiency of vitamin A. Author must provide an incisive report of study with the cause and proper case paper. The survey result must be exegesis so that the application of the solution will be a sinecure.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 363 350
No. of Characters: 1671 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.365 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.603 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.799 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.752 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.336 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.056 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 127, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...d analyze so to take further decisions. the reason might be because of the other fo...
^^^
Line 2, column 303, Rule ID: PRP_PAST_PART[2]
Message: Did you mean 'have done' or 'do'?
Suggestion: have done; do
... data is given or may be analysis might done in only one part of Tagus not nationwid...
^^^^
Line 3, column 70, Rule ID: A_BUT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'a bit'?
Suggestion: A bit
...d of millet is might be rich in vitamin A but lacking in other nutrition elements. so...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 112, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...ut lacking in other nutrition elements. so ameliorating the quality of millet is o...
^^
Line 3, column 307, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...on is capable of providing the subsidy? so no analytical data is given. Moreover,...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 8.0 28.8173652695 28% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1709.0 2260.96107784 76% => OK
No of words: 363.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.70798898072 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3649236973 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86240875424 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 204.123752495 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.421487603306 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 573.3 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.5025760888 57.8364921388 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.9473684211 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1052631579 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.84210526316 5.70786347227 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.321675917192 0.218282227539 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0939757547839 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.085935552957 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.180408898452 0.128457276422 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0478492117609 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 12.5979740519 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.