An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
In my opinion, Statement given above indicates vitamin A deficiency among people in the nation and efforts to get rid from this deficiency. It seems vague to me, as there is no proper evidence for anything I explained some of the points why it could not conviance me.
Firstly, As in the initial statement it has been said that organization find a new breed of seed in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the nation of Tagus. But they did not mention that among people means Had they taken any survey? if yes, then they took survey of how many people and Did they take survey of majority of people?.Or Is there any other way that they find deficiency? and what is that way.
In further statement they claimed that they find new breed of millet high in vitamin A. How much high vitamin A is this in new breed of millet? New breed is considerably high compare to existing or not?
And if it is actually high then amount which it is higher then earlier is it sufficient? And as further said that it is costly so It is cost effective? Are there any alternative to farmers or people? Does farmer have any better cost effective alternative? Are farmers willing to do farming of it? the subsidies which will be paid to farmers is it enough compare to rise in cost. Does government should have to spent on promotion or people of nation already know about it.
and even if no then Does government is willing to spend to promote?
To conclude this, I firmly believe that this statement is vague and to make it proper it should provide some data of people survey and about new millet breed. which will make this statement strong enough to prove its point.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 305 350
No. of Characters: 1326 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.179 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.348 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.334 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 55 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.81 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.549 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 219, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...roper evidence for anything I explained some of the points why it could not conviance me. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 249, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...people means Had they taken any survey? if yes, then they took survey of how many...
^^
Line 3, column 278, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ny survey? if yes, then they took survey of how many people and Did they take sur...
^^
Line 3, column 347, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Or
...they take survey of majority of people?.Or Is there any other way that they find d...
^^
Line 3, column 400, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...ny other way that they find deficiency? and what is that way. In further stateme...
^^^
Line 6, column 52, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'higher than'?
Suggestion: higher than
...s actually high then amount which it is higher then earlier is it sufficient? And as furthe...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 298, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...re farmers willing to do farming of it? the subsidies which will be paid to farmers...
^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...eople of nation already know about it. and even if no then Does government is will...
^^^
Line 7, column 37, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'be'?
Suggestion: be
...t. and even if no then Does government is willing to spend to promote? To conc...
^^
Line 7, column 37, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'be'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: be
...t. and even if no then Does government is willing to spend to promote? To conc...
^^
Line 9, column 160, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Which
...ople survey and about new millet breed. which will make this statement strong enough ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 160, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “which” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ople survey and about new millet breed. which will make this statement strong enough ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, firstly, if, so, then, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1367.0 2260.96107784 60% => OK
No of words: 304.0 441.139720559 69% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.49671052632 5.12650576532 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17559525986 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40821602329 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.486842105263 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 432.0 705.55239521 61% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.7829770901 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 71.9473684211 119.503703932 60% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0 23.324526521 69% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.05263157895 5.70786347227 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.3799404066 0.218282227539 174% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.117346207288 0.0743258471296 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105009641224 0.0701772020484 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169870186365 0.128457276422 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0946236719406 0.0628817314937 150% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.8 14.3799401198 54% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 48.3550499002 149% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 12.197005988 59% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 8.52 12.5979740519 68% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.82 8.32208582834 82% => OK
difficult_words: 46.0 98.500998004 47% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.