The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

The author asserted that the best way for a society to prepare young people for leadership in any field is by teaching them a sense of cooperation , not competition. Though at first glance as per general belief it seems like competition is necessary, I agree with the author's point.

First of all, sense of competition or cooperation, Why we want to develop it in young people? Clearly, For better tomorrow for them and society. Purpose of instilling both the sense is same, But path and result is different. First, sense of competition try to provoke feeling of envy in young people. Consider student A and student B are friends, both are studying in a same university,ina a same course, and they appeared for job interview, and suppose student A is got a job in Google, Now what student B would feel? Certainly, jealousy. Why student B is feeling that? Surely, student B is taunght from childhood that there is a competiuton, You have to perform well. It as simple as that, Each and every student feel good when everyone is doing worse than him/her. What kind of statisfection is this? From where all these feelings come? Obvious from the sense of competiton, as it taught them to become best only and compare them slef with others.

Secondly, sense of cooperation is something that accept each and every person the way they are. It is like consider earlier example just the difference in this case would be student B would not feel envy but just he try to learn from student A why he is selected why he himself not, or may be accept it and try to see uniqueness of ownself and work according it. It as simple as that ant can expect to be the elephant, and vice versa. Both are unique and different in their own way, with the sense cooperation between them, the life cycle on earth working constantly.

Thirdly, Instilling sense of cooperation helps to young people grow and help to develop their sklills, as they could learn from each and every one without thinking to put any one down or anything. Consider the example of Finland education system which teach student about sense of cooperation, education system of Finaland the world's best education system according to many survey. However, It is true that some times competetion inspire young people to work hard.

In sum, compare to sense of competition , sense of cooperation help to society grow and help to make better future togather with freternal feeling insted of focusing on individual success and feeling of bitterness. So the best way for a society to prepare young people for any field is by instilling sense of cooperation.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 147, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... by teaching them a sense of cooperation , not competition. Though at first glance...
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Line 3, column 253, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s different. First, sense of competition try to provoke feeling of envy in young ...
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Line 3, column 325, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... in young people. Consider student A and student B are friends, both are studying...
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Line 3, column 388, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , ina
..., both are studying in a same university,ina a same course, and they appeared for jo...
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Line 3, column 903, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'become the best'.
Suggestion: become the best
...nse of competiton, as it taught them to become best only and compare them slef with others....
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Line 5, column 217, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'tries'.
Suggestion: tries
...udent B would not feel envy but just he try to learn from student A why he is selec...
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Line 5, column 340, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... it and try to see uniqueness of ownself and work according it. It as simple as t...
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Line 7, column 129, Rule ID: EACH_AND_EVERY[1]
Message: Consider using 'each one'.
Suggestion: each one
...their sklills, as they could learn from each and every one without thinking to put any one down or...
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Line 7, column 328, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'worlds the best'.
Suggestion: worlds the best
...ation, education system of Finaland the worlds best education system according to many surv...
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Line 7, column 370, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun survey seems to be countable; consider using: 'many surveys'.
Suggestion: many surveys
...rlds best education system according to many survey. However, It is true that some times co...
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Line 9, column 40, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... In sum, compare to sense of competition , sense of cooperation help to society gr...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, third, thirdly, well, kind of, first of all, it is true

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 33.0505617978 115% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 58.6224719101 109% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 12.9106741573 147% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2152.0 2235.4752809 96% => OK
No of words: 451.0 442.535393258 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77161862528 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6521118665 2.79657885939 95% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 215.323595506 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481152993348 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 663.3 704.065955056 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.3069240504 60.3974514979 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.8181818182 118.986275619 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5 23.4991977007 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.18181818182 5.21951772744 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 7.80617977528 141% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.368993778883 0.243740707755 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10946762137 0.0831039109588 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.154694101621 0.0758088955206 204% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.242835731048 0.150359130593 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.137225715034 0.0667264976115 206% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.1392134831 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.8420337079 122% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.1639044944 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.32 8.38706741573 87% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 100.480337079 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.