An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Vitamin deficiency is considered as the leading cause of unhealthy babies. Insufficient diets lead to malnourished babies. The author here claims that to prevent Vitamin A deficiency the government of Tagus should promote the new engineered breed of millets with high vitamin A content. While it is a valid argument and should not be ignored at any cost, it is necessary to gauge the quality of these new millets before jumping to any conclusion. The government needs to take into account if the millets are safe for the citizens, the expenditure to farm these millets, or export it, and are there any other ways to prevent this deficiency.
The argument here claims that the millets are necessary to eradicate vitamin A deficiency. To further strengthen his point the author needs to provide information regarding the safety associated with these millets. Have these millets been World Health Organization certified? Have the millets undergone necessary animal trials? Have they been deemed fit for consumption? Do the millets have any side effects? There is a high possibility that in order to speed up the production of new millets necessary safety guidelines were not followed by the international development organization. The statement needs to provide figures for the beneficiaries of these millets.
The author mentions that the new millets are necessary expensive to till and the farmers will be paid subsidies to grow this new variety of millets. The statement has not mentioned anything regarding the technology and resources required to produce these millets. While mentioning about perquisites to farmers to farm the new variant, the author needs to mention the requirement of skills and knowledge. Chances are high that farmers don't have adequate knowledge about the process to farm this crop. The author needs to provide information regarding training programs by the Tagus government.
It is necessary to eradicate this deficiency for the prosperous future of Tagus. Nowhere the author has talked about alternate methods to tackle vitamin deficiency. In order to completely enthrall the reader, it is necessary to provide facts and figures regarding the alternative methods undertook by the government to eradicate vitamin deficiency and its results. The author needs to provide a complete picture of the benefits of new variant of millets over other alternatives to cure vitamin deficiency.
Vitamin deficiency can be due to various reasons. It is necessary to reach the root cause. It can be due to improper and undernourished diets or the biological conditions of the parent. If the author can provide information regarding the background of the deficiency and link it to the millets it will certainly strengthen the statement.
In order to predict the result of the recommendation, it is necessary to gauge all the above-mentioned questions. The author needs to provide clear information backed by figures regarding the quality and safety of the millets, government support, and background of the people of Tagus.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 481 350
No. of Characters: 2512 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.683 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.222 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.919 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 199 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 166 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 86 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.179 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.264 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.321 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 330, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...lets undergone necessary animal trials? Have they been deemed fit for consumption? D...
^^^^
Line 5, column 150, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...es to grow this new variety of millets. The statement has not mentioned anything re...
^^^
Line 5, column 435, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...nowledge. Chances are high that farmers dont have adequate knowledge about the proce...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, regarding, so, then, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 77.0 55.5748502994 139% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2569.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 480.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35208333333 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98773462003 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.408333333333 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 821.7 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.7750328194 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.75 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.1428571429 23.324526521 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.07142857143 5.70786347227 19% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.319601548619 0.218282227539 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0879391249904 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0771316670111 0.0701772020484 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164066676491 0.128457276422 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0753926202564 0.0628817314937 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.45 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.