An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The author's numerous assumptions supporting his/her position are unwarranted. Firstly, the cost of new breed of millet is a concern and the fact whether the subsidies from the government will be enough for supporting the farmers. Secondly, just because millet is a staple food, this fact alone cannot be implicit in confirming the consumption of a new breed of millet as they may differ. Thirdly, to combat vitamin A deficiency, millet is not the sole way. Hence, government of Tagus can adopt various other measures like campign or subsidary on vitamin A medicine.
New breed of millet high in vitamin A is costly, therefore it is although helpful that farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new millet but the author does not mention anything which even remotely justifies the fact that tht subsidies are surfiet to cover farming expenditure. Even if the author's assumption is warranted, then also the cost of the new breed millet will anyways be more than the cost of old breed, hence why would the people of nation which is already impoverished purchase the new vitamin A rich millet. My point being that the foremost thing is keeping food on the table of the inhabitants of Tagus rather than coping with the deficiency. Hence, the author claim although supports the conclusion but leaves a wide gap assumption which weaken his/her stance.
Even if the cost is not a problem and the government is indeed able to provide high breed millet at low cost while taking care of farmers with subsidies, There is no evidence to show that the vitamin A rich millet can actually help in eradicating the deficiency. The fact that millet is the staple food is not a good enough reason to develop a new vitamin A rich millet, Further scientific examples or experimentation is required to justify the author's claim.
Finally, the author mentions that for tackling vitamin A deficiency, the government should strongly promote the new millet as if it is the only way to tackle the situation. This makes the author's logic formation based on false premises as a lot of other things can be done just as launching campaigns to treat the deficiency, introducing high subsidies on medicine etc. Therefore, the author shifts his/her focus from providing a solution to proving that his/her solution is correct. Hence, the author fails to provide a warranted solution to the problem.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 404 350
No. of Characters: 1936 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.483 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.792 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.601 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.923 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.401 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.575 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 240, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...gh for supporting the farmers. Secondly, just because millet is a staple food, th...
^^
Line 3, column 299, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... cover farming expenditure. Even if the authors assumption is warranted, then also the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 207, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...evidence to show that the vitamin A rich millet can actually help in eradicating ...
^^
Line 7, column 189, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...to tackle the situation. This makes the authors logic formation based on false premises...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, anyway, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1979.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 400.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9475 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68713485892 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.4825 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 610.2 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.522644432 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.933333333 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.6666666667 23.324526521 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.66666666667 5.70786347227 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.38735946987 0.218282227539 177% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.129462227948 0.0743258471296 174% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.112092221579 0.0701772020484 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.253477929892 0.128457276422 197% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0935889742347 0.0628817314937 149% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.56 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.