An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
According to an international development organization, a deficiency in vitamin A can be mollified by introducing a new breed of millet high in vitamin A to the people of Tagus. This would be the replacement of the typical millets which are often consumed by the people of Tagus as it is the staple food. Following are the enumerate reasons on why the argument does not hold good and an insidious analysis is required for making a better recommendation to the people.
It is assumed by the international development organization that the people of Tagus can afford the millets even though the cost of the newer variety of the millets is higher. This could be asserted after a thorough analysis of the people's income and expenses is done, but not without it because it might cause to hoarding of the millets by the rich and the diffident people might not be able to capacitate the millets and become even more deficient in vitamin A without the millets.
Perhaps it is possible that the people would like the new variety of the millets as it is the staple food of Tagus. Conversely, it can also be true that the new variety of millets might not be suitable for the taste buds of the people and they might not care to replace the typical millets that they were eating and blissfully ignore the replacement.
As it is presumed that the farmers will be having the equipment and expertise to harvest the new variety of millets, it might cause a tumultuous situation when it is the time to harvest the new variety of millets by the amateur farmers. Further more, this can lead of unsafe practices of producing and cultivating the millets which can be harmful to the people's health.
To strengthen this argument, the government of Tagus should be working on the counter parting scenarios and provide a solution to the problems of this new replacement. After addressing the loopholes of the new procedures to produce and consume the new variety of the millets, which can lead to economical, health-related problems, the government can take the right decision towards the betterment of people's health and also considering the benefits to the farmers of Tagus.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 371 350
No. of Characters: 1759 1500
No. of Different Words: 151 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.389 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.741 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.757 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.727 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.771 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.273 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.474 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.723 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 320, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...as it is the staple food. Following are the enumerate reasons on why the argument does not ho...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 469, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... a better recommendation to the people. It is assumed by the international devel...
^^^^
Line 2, column 233, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...serted after a thorough analysis of the peoples income and expenses is done, but not wi...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 355, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...the millets which can be harmful to the peoples health. To strengthen this argument, ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, conversely, if, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1784.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 371.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80862533693 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80458706743 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 157.0 204.123752495 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.423180592992 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 568.8 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 22.8473053892 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 64.3609398511 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 162.181818182 119.503703932 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.7272727273 23.324526521 145% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.18181818182 5.70786347227 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.42071661086 0.218282227539 193% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.182281404611 0.0743258471296 245% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103914343416 0.0701772020484 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.251547681342 0.128457276422 196% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0762870302608 0.0628817314937 121% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.1 14.3799401198 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.44 48.3550499002 96% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.21 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.85 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.1389221557 136% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.