An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The international development organization discovered vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, to reduce the deficiency problem, the organization has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. The organization suggest that the people of Tagus add this new breed of millet in there staple food. The prompt fails to address several key factors that need to be discussed and evaluated.
First of all, as the cost of new type of millet cose more and Tagus been an impoverished nation, they question that need to be asked is, does the national government have enough subsidies, that they can provide to the farmers. Will providing the subsidies to the farmers cause heavy debt on Tagus. Also we need to consider that if the new millet is planted, is the soil of Tagus capable to grow the new breed of millet? Will the production of new millet breed cause adverse effect on the growth of other plants? What about the fertility of soil?
Secondly, If the governement will provide subsidies, then in these case all the farmers will increase the production of new millet and decrease the production of other necessary plant. The same case that took place in rural part of Punjab, India. The indian government increase the subsidies on wheat production in the late 90's. Due to the increase in subsidies and sky rocketing profits more and more farmers started wheat production in the region leading to surplus production of wheat. As the wheat was produced in excess number the governemt started to export the excess wheat supply. But looking back few years the farmers in punjab are not making any profit on the wheat production and the fertility of soil has decreased. Leading to farmer protest all over the region. Can't the same case happen in Tagus.
Lastly, as new know that the millet been a staple food in Tagus, on what bases has the organization consider that people will readily adopt the new variety. Did they conduced any survey among the people? Also on what bases has the organization considered that the new breed of millet with high vitamin A will reduce the deficiency among people. Have they conducted studies of the effect of this new breed on humans? Have they considered whether or not the climatatic condition are suitable consumtion of the new breed of millet.
Finally moving forward with conclusion, we find that the argument prompt has several flaws that need to be discuss and evaluated. There need to be more concrete evidance on why should the government of Tagus the new type of millet in the nation.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 439 350
No. of Characters: 2083 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.577 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.745 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.507 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.905 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.719 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.319 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 299, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... the farmers cause heavy debt on Tagus. Also we need to consider that if the new mil...
^^^^
Line 3, column 490, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...leading to surplus production of wheat. As the wheat was produced in excess number...
^^
Line 3, column 777, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: Can't; Cannot
... to farmer protest all over the region. Cant the same case happen in Tagus. Lastly,...
^^^^
Line 4, column 166, Rule ID: DID_PAST[2]
Message: Did you mean 'conduce'?
Suggestion: conduce
...readily adopt the new variety. Did they conduced any survey among the people? Also on wh...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 204, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...y conduced any survey among the people? Also on what bases has the organization cons...
^^^^
Line 4, column 437, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...w breed on humans? Have they considered whether or not the climatatic condition are suitable c...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...consumtion of the new breed of millet. Finally moving forward with conclusion, we find...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, lastly, look, second, secondly, so, then, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2125.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 438.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85159817352 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57476223824 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56105060729 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.429223744292 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 660.6 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 54.2120739347 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.3913043478 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0434782609 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.69565217391 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.487246066569 0.218282227539 223% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.136833282264 0.0743258471296 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.139854758811 0.0701772020484 199% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.294958372368 0.128457276422 230% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.151836264229 0.0628817314937 241% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.