An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
In the recommendation, it is stated that, The government should promote the new millet seeds, rich in vitamin A, developed by an international development organization. This conclusion was arrived based on the issues that people of Tagus are showing Vitamin A deficiency and the premise that millet is already a staple food in Tagus. However, before this recommendation can be evaluated, Three questions must be answered.
First of all, Will the newly developed millet breed taste the same as the old millet breed? - Perhaps, the newly millet developed, rich in vitamin A, will taste nothing like the old millet. Further, What if it doesn't work with the conventional cooking methods of Tagus ? Maybe, the new millet cannot be made into flour, which is used to make the "Ngira", A roti indigenous to Tagus. If the people are not able to make their most common food, or if the new millet doesn't taste the same, then the conclusion made is severely weakened.
Secondly, What if the subsidies that are paid paid by the government for the increased millet price is just not enough? -Maybe the pesticides that are used for farming this new millet breed is expensive than the predecessor. To add to this, maybe the country is struck an economic crisis and the government is unbale to provide the promised subsidies. If any of the above holds merit, then the recommendation doesn't hold water.
Finally, Will the new millet breed really cure the Vitamin A deficiency for the people of Tagus ? - It is possible that the newly developed millet breed doesn't cure the Vitamin A deficiency in people of Tagus. Maybe, The people of Tagus are facing deficiency in vitamin A because of the water that they drink, which contains harmful chemical wasted discarded by a leading Textile industry located in Tagus. Or, the people of Tagus are just born with Vitamin A deficiency due to genetical disorders. If that is the reason for their Vitamin A deficiency, then the people of Tagus cannot be cured by a mere change in millet breed and this causes the recommendation to loose its merit.
In conclusion, as the recommendation stands now, It is considerably flawed due to its reliance on unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to answer the three questions and provide more evidence (perhaps in a systematic approach) then it will be possible to evaluate the viability of the recommendation to introduce the newly developed millet breed, which is rich in Vitamin A , for the people of Tagus.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 423 350
No. of Characters: 1997 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.535 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.721 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.713 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.149 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.387 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.618 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 211, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ike the old millet. Further, What if it doesnt work with the conventional cooking meth...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 474, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... most common food, or if the new millet doesnt taste the same, then the conclusion mad...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 42, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: paid
...econdly, What if the subsidies that are paid paid by the government for the increased mil...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 410, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ve holds merit, then the recommendation doesnt hold water. Finally, Will the new ...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 154, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...e that the newly developed millet breed doesnt cure the Vitamin A deficiency in people...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 666, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...d and this causes the recommendation to loose its merit. In conclusion, as the rec...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 381, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...millet breed, which is rich in Vitamin A , for the people of Tagus.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2079.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 419.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96181384248 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86415059382 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.441527446301 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 662.4 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.0778894708 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.421052632 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0526315789 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.10526315789 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.461252552351 0.218282227539 211% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.159346779315 0.0743258471296 214% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103930468179 0.0701772020484 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.267819888699 0.128457276422 208% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0799408789601 0.0628817314937 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.