An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The argument presented , while identifying the problem, suggests a solution that is narrow in scope. It also focuses on only one solution without exploring other solutions.
First and foremost, it is necessary to identify not just the problem, but the cause of the problem. It can be possible that the people of Tagus have sufficient amount of vitamin A in their diet but due to some some other factor, for example an imbalanced diet which aids the body in absorbing vitamin A, might be the true cause of the deficiency.Similarly there might be many more factors which the author fails to recognize.Instead of trying to solve the problem head on focus should be on solving the root cause of the problem.
By taking the above example, the government can simply make efforts to provide a more balanced diet to the population which would automatically resolve the problem of Vitamin A deficiency.
The passage mentions that they adoption of the new millet variety will be good without actually presenting any proof for the same. The new breed should be tested for resiliency against the original crop. The new breed can be more difficult to grow or maintain which would deter the farmers to grow it. If this is true, the expense of growing them increases and if that happens, the additional cost might actually negate the subsidies that farmers receive for adopting the new crop and thus increase the financial burden on the already impoverished people of Tagus which would then lead to the government lending more subsidies to farmers thereby draining the cash reserves of the government. This would actually have a more negative effect than a positive one.
While the passage does suggest a possible solution to the problem, it is the only solution that the author focuses on and that solution can go wrong due to multiple reasons mentioned above. The author fails to explore various other solutions that can be possible for example creating a new breed of some other crop which is cheaper than millet and encourage the people to adopt it instead of millet. This way the problem can be solved in a much more cost effective manner. Another way possible way would be to combine multiple solutions to eradicate the problem so that it does not bring in recurring costs.
Additionally, before implementing the suggested solution, the international development organization should also think about how the subsidies given to be farmers will be recovered. It needs to make sure that the subsidies given should collapse the cash reserves thereby eliminating the scope of carrying out similar exercises in the future.
Too much of anything is not good and same applies to the solution proposed by the author. If let's say the proposed solution works, the international development organization should be well prepared to control the usage of this crop more than it was intended for. If the crop is used more, it might make the original millet variety to become extinct thereby affecting the bio-diversity. It can also can also cause excess of vitamin A leading to to other mdeical problems.
While the passage does provide a solution, this solution is not supported by proper data and planns and hence it is not advisable for the governemnt to blindly do anything that it can to promote this new breed of millet
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 23, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
The argument presented , while identifying the problem, suggests...
^^
Line 2, column 205, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: some
...t of vitamin A in their diet but due to some some other factor, for example an imbalanced...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 346, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Similarly
...ght be the true cause of the deficiency.Similarly there might be many more factors which ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 346, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Similarly,
...ght be the true cause of the deficiency.Similarly there might be many more factors which ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 425, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Instead
...ors which the author fails to recognize.Instead of trying to solve the problem head on ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 204, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...r resiliency against the original crop. The new breed can be more difficult to grow...
^^^
Line 7, column 93, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...the solution proposed by the author. If lets say the proposed solution works, the in...
^^^^
Line 7, column 389, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'can also'.
Suggestion: can also
...thereby affecting the bio-diversity. It can also can also cause excess of vitamin A leading to to...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 441, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: to
... also cause excess of vitamin A leading to to other mdeical problems. While the pass...
^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'also', 'but', 'first', 'hence', 'if', 'similarly', 'so', 'then', 'thus', 'well', 'while', 'for example']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.221283783784 0.25644967241 86% => OK
Verbs: 0.172297297297 0.15541462614 111% => OK
Adjectives: 0.103040540541 0.0836205057962 123% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0523648648649 0.0520304965353 101% => OK
Pronouns: 0.027027027027 0.0272364105082 99% => OK
Prepositions: 0.106418918919 0.125424944231 85% => OK
Participles: 0.0506756756757 0.0416121511921 122% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.72476173486 2.79052419416 98% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0422297297297 0.026700313972 158% => OK
Particles: 0.00168918918919 0.001811407834 93% => OK
Determiners: 0.133445945946 0.113004496875 118% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0422297297297 0.0255425247493 165% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0168918918919 0.0127820249294 132% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3300.0 2731.13054187 121% => OK
No of words: 558.0 446.07635468 125% => OK
Chars per words: 5.91397849462 6.12365571057 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86024933743 4.57801047555 106% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.353046594982 0.378187486979 93% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.292114695341 0.287650121315 102% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.186379928315 0.208842608468 89% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0985663082437 0.135150697306 73% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72476173486 2.79052419416 98% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 207.018472906 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433691756272 0.469332199767 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 50.9738716811 52.1807786196 98% => OK
How many sentences: 21.0 20.039408867 105% => OK
Sentence length: 26.5714285714 23.2022227129 115% => OK
Sentence length SD: 95.002398824 57.7814097925 164% => OK
Chars per sentence: 157.142857143 141.986410481 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5714285714 23.2022227129 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.619047619048 0.724660767414 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 8.0 5.14285714286 156% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 3.58251231527 251% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 55.7828981055 51.9672348444 107% => OK
Elegance: 1.5033557047 1.8405768891 82% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.357295287048 0.441005458295 81% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.142526983515 0.135418324435 105% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0896783684685 0.0829849096947 108% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.663757360605 0.58762219726 113% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.1968903814 0.147661913831 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.150004336096 0.193483328276 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.070634826384 0.0970749176394 73% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.426158135372 0.42659136922 100% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0836039885851 0.0774707102158 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.210629029233 0.312017818177 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0652415028783 0.0698173142475 93% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.33743842365 168% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.87684729064 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.82512315271 0% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 11.0 6.46551724138 170% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 5.36822660099 112% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.82389162562 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 17.0 14.657635468 116% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.