An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be p

Essay topics:

An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

The argument seems flawless and cogent at first glance. However, it is based on an unwarranted assumption that vitamin A is deficient among people in the nation of Tagus, rendering its conclusion, that the best way to solve the problem is to propagate the usage of new type of millet among people, invalid.

Primarily, the argument fails to provide any justification that to what extent the vitamin A deficiency is serious. The argument declares that there is a health issue among people that should be solved but does not state any statistics or survey results to prove the idea. Therefore to strengthen the argument, the author of the passage should answer the question that how the deficiency of vitamin A is identified. In addition, mention the survey or experiment on which the conclusion is drawn and the ratio of the people that are affected by this problem.

Furthermore, the author contends that new types of millet is high in vitamin A without any comparison with other types of food that are vitamin A rich. The argument should answer the question whether millet is the best choice to solve the health issue among people comparing to carrot, sweet potato and other food that are rich in vitamin A. Even then, the argument requires to provide information if spending subsidies on new type of millet is efficient because the same amount of budget can be used to provide vitamin A capsules, in the case that the problem is so acute, or other food richer in vitamin A than millet.

Finally, the argument states that the international development organization and the government act in response to vitamin A deficiency by promoting the new type of millet because it is the staple food in Tagus. Nevertheless, the argument should answer the question how much the other food that are higher in vitamin A are used among people in comparison to millet. Hence, the government can invest on the best and most efficient food to cure the vitamin A deficiency. Additionally, the subsidies mentioned in the argument can even be used to train and advertise the food or tablet that is more useful.

To wrap it up, because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions, it fails to provide tenable and convincing case that the government can and should improve the usage of millet among people to cure the deficiency of vitamin A.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 274, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...cs or survey results to prove the idea. Therefore to strengthen the argument, the author ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 180, Rule ID: WHETHER[5]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question"?
Suggestion: whether
...amin A rich. The argument should answer the question whether millet is the best choice to solve the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 376, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'providing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: providing
...min A. Even then, the argument requires to provide information if spending subsidies on ne...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 521, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'A capsule' or simply 'capsules'?
Suggestion: A capsule; Capsules
...f budget can be used to provide vitamin A capsules, in the case that the problem is so acu...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 318, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...e other food that are higher in vitamin A are used among people in comparison to mill...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 236, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ple to cure the deficiency of vitamin A.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, nevertheless, so, then, therefore, in addition

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1946.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 397.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90176322418 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46372701284 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70870233038 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 204.123752495 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.408060453401 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 630.0 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 58.9823996578 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.0 119.503703932 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.3571428571 23.324526521 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.14285714286 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.34462733078 0.218282227539 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.132089187645 0.0743258471296 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0945626872789 0.0701772020484 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.209764073498 0.128457276422 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0647174855335 0.0628817314937 103% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 48.3550499002 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.