"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
In this argument the author claims that a jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable. To justify his claims, the author cites following facts. (1) Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe because of which it attracted 100,000 people to Monroe's annual jazz festival. (2) Since the nearest jazz club is an hour away many local people would come to club. (3) Jazz fan spends close to $1000 per year on jazz entertainment. However, the author arrived at this conclusion based on three unwarranted assumptions, if not substantiated, will dramatically weaken the argument.
Firstly, the author assumes that many locals would come to the new club since the nearest jazz club is an hour away. However, this may not be the case. People might be going to the club which is an hour away not only because of, it being only the club nearer to them but for its good service and low price. Morever that club might have high reputation and loyal customer base who would travel an hour to reach the club. Hence this evidence does not prove that jazz club in Monroe would be profitable.
Secondly, the author assumes that jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe. To support this statement the author claims that over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer. However, it may be possible that most of the people who attended Monroe's annual jazz festival may be non-locals or foreigners who may not visit Monroe that frequently. In this case only few of the locals will come to the new club that is being opened. Hence this evidence doesn't prove that jazz club in Monroe would be profitable
Finally, the author also assumes that $1000 spending all of the jazz enthusiasts will go into visiting the jazz club. However, this seems to be a baseless assumption. They might be spending the amount on buying the jazz cds and jazz instruments. All the spending may not essentialy go into visiting jazz club. For instance, a jazz enthusiast who is fond of listening jazz music at home but not interested in going to clubs will spend most of his jazz spending on buying the jazz cds.
In the conclusion, the jazz music club in Munroe may not be tremendously profitable as it based on above unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to support these assumptions with some concrete evidence there is fair chance that it may be profitable.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 414 350
No. of Characters: 1917 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.511 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.63 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.432 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.744 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 422, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...would travel an hour to reach the club. Hence this evidence does not prove that jazz ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 456, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...e to the new club that is being opened. Hence this evidence doesnt prove that jazz cl...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 476, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...at is being opened. Hence this evidence doesnt prove that jazz club in Monroe would be...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 53, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...e author also assumes that 000 spending all of the jazz enthusiasts will go into visiting ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 132, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...based on above unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to support these ass...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1963.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 413.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75302663438 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53034164653 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.409200968523 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 584.1 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.6409185394 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.2272727273 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7727272727 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.59090909091 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.524929223932 0.218282227539 240% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.19723862202 0.0743258471296 265% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.128375928348 0.0701772020484 183% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.340174393318 0.128457276422 265% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0865648352113 0.0628817314937 138% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 48.3550499002 145% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 12.197005988 65% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.27 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.75 8.32208582834 81% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 98.500998004 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.