A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment.
It is asserted that a national wide study after being carried out reflected that the typical jazz fans spent 1000dollars per year on jazz entertainment makes Jazz Club a very profitable business to venture in. However, this study revealed some aspects about the jazz business but some necessary evidence to prove that the amount made annually was actually enough to ascertain that jazz business is profitable is lacking. Therefore, the need for further evidences, if jazz club was closer to the people, how often would it be attended, also the total population was not stated to know the percentage of jazz fans- in view of this the following evidences would be further looked into.
First, the study states that jazz music festival which is held once in a year, had a large population. Therefore the question on if the club was nearby would it still attract that large crowd monthly or daily because just an annual study was done. It is necessary to evaluate the business feasibility if it's closer, because the attention given might differ, the willingness to want to spend a large percentage of their income on jazz club daily would be a necessary evidence to study.
Secondly, the stated evidence reflecting the population that attended the jazz club was not compared with it total population. Therefore, this evidence is not enough for a believe that a large number of Monroe population attended an annual jazz festival. If the total population of Monroe is looked into and the population is not up to 50%, I can say it's not a viable business because for an annual festival having an event really loved by this people should draw at least a 50% of its population.
Also, the fact that the program was aired does not necessarily point to a large number of listener.
In conclusion, to ascertain that a nation after a wide study has being carried out shows that the typical jazz fans spent 1000dollars per year on jazz entertainment makes jazz club a very profitable business lacks some other evidences which has been started above. Until this specific evidence is analysed, the fact that Jazz business is invalid.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 13 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1724 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.776 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.083 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.715 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.43 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.43 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 103, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...once in a year, had a large population. Therefore the question on if the club was nearby ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 170, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...refore, this evidence is not enough for a believe that a large number of Monroe populatio...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 172, Rule ID: BELIEVE_BELIEF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'belief' (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
Suggestion: belief
...fore, this evidence is not enough for a believe that a large number of Monroe populatio...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 185, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...idence is not enough for a believe that a large number of Monroe population attended an annual ja...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 351, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
... population is not up to 50%, I can say its not a viable business because for an an...
^^^
Line 3, column 440, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...estival having an event really loved by this people should draw at least a 50% of it...
^^^^
Line 4, column 73, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...was aired does not necessarily point to a large number of listener. In conclusion, to ascertain ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, look, really, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, at least, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1760.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 361.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87534626039 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5993920217 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 165.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.457063711911 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 561.6 705.55239521 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 65.5203000773 57.8364921388 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.666666667 119.503703932 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.0833333333 23.324526521 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.83333333333 5.70786347227 172% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.30598351307 0.218282227539 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.131922409897 0.0743258471296 177% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0742325037328 0.0701772020484 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170398607532 0.128457276422 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102592844785 0.0628817314937 163% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.03 48.3550499002 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.62 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 98.500998004 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.9071856287 160% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.