Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium—substances essential for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental a

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Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium—substances essential for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age. But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study. Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The author of the statement above believes that the intake of dairy products not only is not good for the osteoporosis, it also worsens the disease. This conclusion is based on a vague study that people whose intake of dairy products was constant have shown more frequent bone fractures than other participants in the study. The argument needs several vital evidence to support the authors’ conclusion.

First, the author needs evidence that those who were in the study consumed a sufficient amount of the dairy products. The mere mention that the participants constantly consumed dairy products is not make it clear whether the intake was enough. It is highly possible that people in the study consumed so little amount of the dairy products “constantly” that their bodies lack the needed amount of vitamin D and calcium via digesting insignificant dairy product. If this was the case, it was the insufficient amount of dairies resulting in the osteoporosis not the excess of diaries.

Secondly, the author needs to show that the fractures are exclusively happened because of the osteoporosis and the bones were significantly weak. Conversely, it is possible that the bones are much stronger, but fractures happened to them because of other factors. The people in the survey might be athletes of aggressive sports whose frequent injuries are natural in their bones. It is also possible that fractures happened to youths because of obesity. Since osteoporosis comes with age, then the link between osteoporosis and intake of dairy food cannot be established if the participants were young. Therefore, the other evidence is needed to show that age of participants is high enough to develop osteoporosis.

Finally, even the fractures are a symptom of osteoporosis, and people already have taken enough dairy, yet there might be other causes to impute the disease to, unless there is an evidence attesting otherwise. As mentioned in the author’s argument, the necessary elements to preclude osteoporosis is found in the dairy products. However, is it enough to only rely on the dairy products? There might be other minerals and vitamins needed for the bones to become strong. The lack of intake of the other important foods might be the reason why some of the participants in the study suffered more from the osteoporosis, while other participant’s bodies might absorb what their bones needed from other food sources. Hence, all these alternative explanations exist and the author needs direct evidence that it is exclusively the dairy products that give rise to the symptoms of the osteoporosis.

In short, the author’s argument lacks the vital evidences to buttress the argument. Without having the evidences, the argument is open to different explanations and lacks any certainty to rely on. Therefore, without providing such evidence, the author’s conclusion cannot be tenable.

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argument 1 -- not OK. There are nothing wrong for people who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years.

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- not OK. bone fractures are symptoms of osteoporosis, but there are other symptoms of osteoporosis too. The author wrongly assumes that any kind of fracture is an indication of OS.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 465 350
No. of Characters: 2374 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.644 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.105 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.747 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.136 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.829 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Need to cast doubt for the result of the survey:

'But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years(group A) of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants(group B) in the study.'

why A has a higher rater than B?

maybe A is aged people while B is young people.

People who consistently consume dairy products in the study may do so just because they are more likely to suffer from bone fractures.

more suggestions(maybe duplicated to above arguments):
1)Although bone fractures are a symptom of osteoporosis, they may well result from other causes.

2)The author does not provide detailed information about the studied people who consistently consume dairy products and those who do not.

3)Other reasons, such as aging, genetic factors, lifestyle, etc. may also account for the higher rate of bone fractures of the people mentioned in the study.