"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
The memo argues that children can cultivate outstanding musical talent if they learn at Mozart School of Music. Since Mozart school welcomes every child who is willing to come and provide a wide range of specialization with famous teachers, they guarantee their children to become good musicians. However, this argument rests on some unsubstantial assumptions and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
The author states that they welcome students at all level at any age. In other words, they make a bold assumption that all children can make similar progress during learning. Otherwise, they need to apply different educational methods individually. In addition, the author assumes that children are fond learning multiple instruments at the same time and parents are able to afford it. Nevertheless, it might be possible that children favor more to specialize in a single music genre. The possibility that parents do not have so much money to pay for the tuition fee and the instrument cannot be excluded as well.
Furthermore, the author's thought is that distinguished musicians are translated into perfect teachers. Granted that these musicians have incredible performing skills is true, the assumption that they are skillful at passing on what they got is unfounded. Besides, the argument relies on assumption that becoming famous and well-paid musicians are the goals of children attending musical school. Still, there is a good chance that parents merely help their children to look for a leisure activity. In this purpose, happiness indeed outweighs fame or money during the music lessons.
Consequently, the author may be right, yet his or her judgment needs a through check-up on above topics mentioned, and strong evidence must be purposed in order to cite the hidden assumptions.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 616, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... instrument cannot be excluded as well. Furthermore, the authors thought is that...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 582, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fame or money during the music lessons. Consequently, the author may be right, y...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, consequently, furthermore, however, if, look, may, nevertheless, so, still, therefore, well, in addition, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1522.0 2260.96107784 67% => OK
No of words: 284.0 441.139720559 64% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.35915492958 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10515524023 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85366850279 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.633802816901 0.468620217663 135% => OK
syllable_count: 460.8 705.55239521 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.3720542551 57.8364921388 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.466666667 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9333333333 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.6 5.70786347227 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.229787638365 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0717470565398 0.0743258471296 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0688947773279 0.0701772020484 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.126822081257 0.128457276422 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0671175379544 0.0628817314937 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 616, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... instrument cannot be excluded as well. Furthermore, the authors thought is that...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 582, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fame or money during the music lessons. Consequently, the author may be right, y...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, consequently, furthermore, however, if, look, may, nevertheless, so, still, therefore, well, in addition, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1522.0 2260.96107784 67% => OK
No of words: 284.0 441.139720559 64% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.35915492958 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10515524023 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85366850279 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.633802816901 0.468620217663 135% => OK
syllable_count: 460.8 705.55239521 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.3720542551 57.8364921388 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.466666667 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9333333333 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.6 5.70786347227 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.229787638365 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0717470565398 0.0743258471296 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0688947773279 0.0701772020484 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.126822081257 0.128457276422 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0671175379544 0.0628817314937 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.