Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is
opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very
successful: Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead
healthy lives, and clearly Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of
running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more
members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally,
Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these
schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the
benefits of regular exercise at an early age.
In the argument, the author confidently claims that the Nature’s Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products is suitable for opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville due to three factors. Firstly, the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs, secondly, the Plainsville’s health club has more members than ever, finally, schoolchildren are require to participate in a fitness-for-life program. However, the conclusion is valid at first glimpse, the readers will find some flaws and other alternative assumptions after scrutinizing.
According to the recommendation, the author considers that the sales is the significant factors for the next Nature’s Way’s next franchise. But, probably they have no relationship between of them. Although the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are higher than others, the citizens just due to they like to wear some soft and soothe clothes. Otherwise, the town regards the tourism as the major industry for increasing the economy and financial, therefore, development of the tourism galvanize the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing, which could not elicit the Plainsville is suitable for the next franchise. The author should make more study and survey of marketing to sustain the accuracy and reliable of this recommendation.
Moreover, on the ground of the high club members of Plainsville, the author assumes that the higher members must cause the higher sales of health products. Does they have cause-and-effect relationships? Probably no, firstly, the club might be located in the place far away the town, which people have some difficulties from the club to this new Nature’s Way shop, especially after exercising and feeling tired. Even they have a close commutation, the citizens regards the clubs as a place for associating friends, never considering the health foods. Even these alternative assumptions are excluded, Plainsville’s people just insist nature healthy, without drugs and health foods, for high-efficient work and study in weekdays.
Finally, because of the schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age, the Plainsville become the best choice for next franchises is nonsense. With the development of the education, almost every student has heavy express, which easily destruct students’ health, so the programs is necessary for every school, which is untenable as a reason for the best choice to construct a new shop in Plainsville。
Consequently, the author provides several feeble reasons to substantiate the conclusion, to justify the validation, these alternative assumptions should be exempted before the decision is executed.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 424 350
No. of Characters: 2292 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.538 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.406 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.036 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 138 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.267 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.512 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.338 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 412, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'required'.
Suggestion: required
... than ever, finally, schoolchildren are require to participate in a fitness-for-life pr...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 420, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'participating'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: participating
...er, finally, schoolchildren are require to participate in a fitness-for-life program. However,...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 156, Rule ID: DOES_YOU[1]
Message: Did you mean 'do'? 'does' is only used for the third person singular (he/she/it).
Suggestion: Do
...se the higher sales of health products. Does they have cause-and-effect relationship...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, finally, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2370.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 424.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.58962264151 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53775939005 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.20151694532 2.78398813304 115% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518867924528 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 709.2 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 96.5679035705 57.8364921388 167% => OK
Chars per sentence: 158.0 119.503703932 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.2666666667 23.324526521 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.53333333333 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.228267344561 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0773266938673 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118187204948 0.0701772020484 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12445343279 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0936183559487 0.0628817314937 149% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.0 14.3799401198 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.6 48.3550499002 72% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.197005988 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.44 12.5979740519 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.42 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.