“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
The above argument that employing the same strategy as a Movies Galore store in a certain location will yield the same results as their other store is flaw and not well substantiated for reasons and unanswered questions discussed below.
From the argument, there is not mention of exploration of other strategies asides the reduction of operating expenses to tackle Movies Galore’s challenge of declining profits. Considering other options will give the store owner better perspectives and deeper insights on the best approach to reverse the profits decline.
Movies Galore may be famous for their for their special bargains but there is no evidence of research to support this claim. There could be a new store offering better bargains to customers or even an existing store slashing down their prices temporarily to drive customers their way.
Also, the one Movies Galore’s store that has been able to decrease its operating expenses has only had a month to do so. One month is insufficient, to ascertain that they have fixed their profits decline.
Again, we do not know if the all the stores are in the same location as the economic situation varies from place to place. Therefore, the location factor cannot be neglected in the argument.
Lastly, thereis no mention of investigation of the cause of the profits decline in the first place. If the main cause is known such as it being customers going on vacation, then it can be fied
From the presented reasons, there is insufficient data to follow the same strategy used at a Movies Galore’s store to their other stores.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 29, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'for their'.
Suggestion: for their
...decline. Movies Galore may be famous for their for their special bargains but there is no eviden...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 193, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s going on vacation, then it can be fied From the presented reasons, there is ins...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, lastly, may, so, then, therefore, well, such as, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1336.0 2260.96107784 59% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 264.0 441.139720559 60% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06060606061 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03089032464 4.56307096286 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66412585567 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 147.0 204.123752495 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.556818181818 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 415.8 705.55239521 59% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.3125820511 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.454545455 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.09090909091 5.70786347227 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184249015288 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0726299450306 0.0743258471296 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0316528317665 0.0701772020484 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.085494007548 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.034690904241 0.0628817314937 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.07 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 29, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'for their'.
Suggestion: for their
...decline. Movies Galore may be famous for their for their special bargains but there is no eviden...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 193, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s going on vacation, then it can be fied From the presented reasons, there is ins...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, lastly, may, so, then, therefore, well, such as, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1336.0 2260.96107784 59% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 264.0 441.139720559 60% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06060606061 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03089032464 4.56307096286 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66412585567 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 147.0 204.123752495 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.556818181818 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 415.8 705.55239521 59% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.3125820511 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.454545455 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.09090909091 5.70786347227 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184249015288 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0726299450306 0.0743258471296 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0316528317665 0.0701772020484 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.085494007548 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.034690904241 0.0628817314937 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.07 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.