The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore a chain of video rental stores In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore s ten video rental stores Since we are famous fo | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
"In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores."

Owner of Movies Galore in his memorandum concludes that if they want to reduce their losses they should reduce the operating expenses at the rental stores. To prove his point, the owner mention about the store in downtown Marston which had reduce their operating expense by closing the shops early. However, the argument made by the owner rests on series of assumptions that are illogical and unpersuasive. This would be proved in the following essay.
First, the owner mentions that there is a decrease in profits. But, the owner has not mentioned about the amount of loss they are experiencing or is this loss from all the stores or just one store. It is possible that the losses are experience by few stores and due to this the average has fallen down and it is showing that overall business is at a loss. It could also happen that due to inflation, people are cutting back on their expensis, so many people are not renting videos from the store. So, the owner should consider all these facts before coming to a final conclusion.
Secondly, the owner mention that one of the store in downtown Marston where able to reduce the operating cost by closing the shops early. It could happen that the people in that area do not go out after 6:00 P.M, so there is no need to keep the store open. We cannot assume that this would be same for all the types of neighbhourhood where the stores are located. It could also happen that people in other locality usually visit the video rental stores late night, so by closing the store early would led to loss of business and this would affect the profits.
Furthermore, the downtown Marston store was able to reduce the cost by eliminating all movies which were more that five years old. It could happen that the store in downtown Marston took a survey and from which the store owner came to know about the perferances of its customers. The preferances can change from area to area and same could not be assume. It could happen that customers of other stores of Movies Galore are fan of old movies and they do not want to watch the latest one. So, by blindly following what the downtown Marston store did would be a risky move for the business.
In conclusion, the owner of Movie Galore should conduct a survey which should be done area wise, and by doing this the owner would be able to come to know about the perferances of the customers. According to the liking of the customers, the owner can think of various ways to reduce the cost of operation which would be suited for a particular store and not in general. If, the owner starts closing the shops early and eliminating the old movie stocks then it would affect the profits, so a proper cost analysis should be perform before coming to any final judgement.

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Essay Categories

GMAT/GRE Argument Task

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 241, Rule ID: HAD_VBP[1]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'reduced'.
Suggestion: reduced
...the store in downtown Marston which had reduce their operating expense by closing the ...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 241, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'reduced'.
Suggestion: reduced
...the store in downtown Marston which had reduce their operating expense by closing the ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 211, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: M
...in that area do not go out after 6:00 P.M, so there is no need to keep the store ...
^
Line 3, column 502, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'lead'
Suggestion: lead
...ht, so by closing the store early would led to loss of business and this would affe...
^^^
Line 5, column 523, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'performed'?
Suggestion: performed
...ts, so a proper cost analysis should be perform before coming to any final judgement. ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion, in general

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2263.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 495.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.57171717172 5.12650576532 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71684168287 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.29555405325 2.78398813304 82% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.4 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 711.9 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.6004644139 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.761904762 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5714285714 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.61904761905 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.267125013018 0.218282227539 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0875609757834 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0560236886987 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166828813274 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0426971115144 0.0628817314937 68% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 48.3550499002 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.52 12.5979740519 76% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion, in general

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments