"The population on Balmer Island doubles during the summer months. During the summer, then, the town council of Balmer Island should decrease the maximum number of moped rentals allowed at each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 5

Essay topics:

"The population on Balmer Island doubles during the summer months. During the summer, then, the town council of Balmer Island should decrease the maximum number of moped rentals allowed at each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day. This will significantly reduce the number of summertime accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians. The neighboring island of Torseau actually saw a 50 percent reduction in moped accidents last year when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals. To help reduce moped accidents, therefore, we should also enforce these limitations during the summer months."

The argument that decreasing the usage of moped rental in the Balmer Island in summer times, ensured by taking a 50 percent decrease in moped and pedestrian accident being done similarly in a neighbor island Torseau, may seem logical at first glance. However, the writer’s conclusion is based on some assumption that will go unwarranted due to lack of supportive evidence.

First of all, the writer asserts that restricting usage of moped and bicycle in Balmer will be rendered to decline of accident happening between these vehicles and pedestrian claiming that this was practical in another island Torseeau. But the writer provides no information about population of this neighbor island. It is highly likely that this region have lower population than Balmer. If this is the case, the writer conclusion would be derided stating that this plan will decrease the number of accident.

Additionally, the writer states that the population of Balmer doubles every summer. There is no evidence demonstrating that Torseau council enforcement for decreasing riding moped has been done in summer. So, if this is the case, the result of declining accident in the neighbor would not be reliable for Balmer which always has a peak of residents in summer.

Finally, the notion that dwarfing moped rental at each of the island six port and bicycle from 50 to 30 is not well defined by the writer. There is no definite information demonstrating that how they selected this figures. The writer assumption will have disadvantageous consequences if there is not any proper evaluation of the resident previous usage of the moped vehicles and these selected figures.

In conclusion, the witer states some one-sided assumption that will go unwarranted if he do not present the similar factors for the two islands like population as well as evaluation of previous usage of moped vehicles in Balmor. Moreover, it should be clarified that when was the period of the plan in Torseau to compare correctly.

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Average: 3 (2 votes)
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Comments

this region have lower population
this region has lower population

Sentence: There is no definite information demonstrating that how they selected this figures.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and figures

Sentence: The writer assumption will have disadvantageous consequences if there is not any proper evaluation of the resident previous usage of the moped vehicles and these selected figures.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to resident and previous

Sentence: In conclusion, the witer states some one-sided assumption that will go unwarranted if he do not present the similar factors for the two islands like population as well as evaluation of previous usage of moped vehicles in Balmor.
Error: witer Suggestion: water

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argument 1 -- not OK. It is a 50 percent reduction, not a absolute number.

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- not OK. In GRE/GMAT, we have to accept all data or evidence are true.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 324 350
No. of Characters: 1629 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.243 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.028 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.722 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.013 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.618 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5