As public concern over drug abuse has increased, authorities have become more vigilant in their efforts to prevent illegal drugs from entering the country. Many drug traffickers have consequently switched from marijuana which is bulky or heroin which has a market too small to justify the risk of severe punishment to cocaine. Thus enforcement efforts have ironically resulted in an observed increase in an illegal use of cocaine.
The author of the argument contends that enforcement efforts have actually failed to control the illegal use of cocaine, although public concern over drug abuse has increased and authorities have become more vigilant in their efforts to prevent illegal drugs from entering the country. He or she cites as evidence to support his or her claims the fact that many drug traffickers have switched from marijuana and heroin to cocaine, justifying the risk of severe punishment. The reasoning of the argument is totally flawed, as it is based upon questionable assumptions.
First and foremost, the author quotes that public concern over drug abuse has increased, without providing any relevant information. We have no indication on the actual increase and where does it result from. He or she should have stated the accurate numbers of the increase, adding the contributing factors that have possibly led to such an effect. Moreover, the arguer fails to convince us about the way authorities have become vigilant in their efforts to prevent illegal drugs from entering the country. The authorities are likely to do little on evading the drugs from entering the country. He or she should have presented more information and statistics about the potential efforts adopted by the authorities. Without any detailed representations, the assumption is scant and lacks validity.
Secondly, the author too hastily concludes that drug traffickers have switched from marijuana to cocaine because the former one is bulky, and from heroin to cocaine due to the fact that heroin has a market too small. Many variables enter into the equation. Perhaps, many parts of the country have legitimized the use of marijuana and as a result, traffickers have seen their profits plunged. Furthermore, heroin users are likely to have reduced their doses, replacing them with cocaine because its price has dropped significantly. Also the concept that risk punishment is the same severe for all drugs is unwarranted since cocaine may have far stricter legislation than heroin and marijuana. In order to accept the effectiveness of the arguer’s claims, he or she should have quoted that among all other reasons studied, the fact that marijuana is bulky and heroin has a small market, the traffickers have switched to cocaine.
Finally, the spokesperson fails to ensure us that enforcements efforts have ironically resulted in an observed increase in an illegal use of cocaine. It is likely that all these efforts are at the very beginning of their operations and preparing their plan, according to which they will act to eradicate every illegal drug from the country. The arguer should have quoted that after a series of efforts, such as implementation of technological equipment in the borders, intelligence services and border patrolling, the law enforcement efforts have totally failed in their scope to reduce illegal drugs from entering the country.
The argument is weak, since neither is the conclusion sound, nor is the suggestion legitimate. Had there been substantial evidence, perhaps, the argument would have sounded more credible, but in its absence it sounds indefensible.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 502 350
No. of Characters: 2601 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.733 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.181 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.73 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 204 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 156 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.905 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.396 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.476 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 532, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...se its price has dropped significantly. Also the concept that risk punishment is the...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, furthermore, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2681.0 2260.96107784 119% => OK
No of words: 502.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.3406374502 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85041872478 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.478087649402 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 845.1 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.2962954255 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.666666667 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9047619048 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.28571428571 5.70786347227 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.88822355289 203% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.592461450223 0.218282227539 271% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.165917817059 0.0743258471296 223% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.134181681255 0.0701772020484 191% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.323993663888 0.128457276422 252% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.160903180132 0.0628817314937 256% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.3799401198 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.99 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.06 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 136.0 98.500998004 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.