"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys

Essay topics:

"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

Although it is a fact that both first-born rhesus monkeys and first-born humans produce higher levels of cortisol which contributes to enhanced level of activity, explaining this phenomenon using the stimulating situation theory is not convincible. The author uses several assumptions to indicate that the cortisol level of a firstborn infant is determined by whether there is a stimulating situation, and his arguments lack contrasting examples. This crates lots of flaws in his arguments and makes his conclusion unreliable.
The author firstly assumes that only when the infants are under stimulation can they produce more cortisol, however he does not completely prove this assumption by claiming that the infants will not produce extra cortisol without being stimulated. If both of the conditions can lead to more cortisol produced, stimulating situation cannot be the cause of it. What the author should also clarify is that other than stimulation, no factor can influence the excretion of cortisol. Since the infants are raised in complex environments, many factors such as the temperature, the nourishment, the attention from parents, et cetera. We cannot assume these factors are completely irrelevant if the author does not exclude them in his argument. In fact, in the end of the argument the author informs us of first-time mother monkeys who had higher cortisol level. By doing this the author seems to stultify himself as this is not a stimulating situation.
By using a collective term “stimulating situation”, the author automatically assumes that all of the stimulations can lead to the same result. Actually the term itself is very vague as the author does not give any definition or classification for it. Thus it is not clear what stimulating situations are although the author does give two examples. Because of this, we cannot know if any stimulating situation applies to the author’s theory.
When the author compares human infant with monkey infant, he assumes

Votes
Average: 4 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 101, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
..., the author automatically assumes that all of the stimulations can lead to the same resul...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 262, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ny definition or classification for it. Thus it is not clear what stimulating situat...
^^^^
Line 4, column 69, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...an infant with monkey infant, he assumes
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, however, if, so, thus, in fact, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 55.5748502994 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1690.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 315.0 441.139720559 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.36507936508 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21286593061 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0667981174 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.546031746032 0.468620217663 117% => OK
syllable_count: 529.2 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.471057884232 425% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.6380412859 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.666666667 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.06666666667 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.153201540063 0.218282227539 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0590443569384 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0491347606482 0.0701772020484 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116115739234 0.128457276422 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.02861792689 0.0628817314937 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.04 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 79.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.75 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.