"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success Of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need Less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
According to the author, those firms whose executives sleep not more than 6 hours per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. So, he concluded that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep Per night. in order to bolster this conclusion, some evidences are included but these cited evidences does not provide the full support to the conclusion. The various evidences that must include to bolsters the conclusion are discussed below.
Firstly, the author assumes that the higher profit margins and faster growth of the firm is higher where the executives sleep less than 6 hours. But he fails to include the evidences regarding to the working hour of the executives per day. There might be the reason that The firm executives who sleep less than 6 hours also work more hours per day as compare to firm executives who sleep more than 6 hours. Generally, the higher profit margin of the firm is dependent on the working hour of the workers of that particular firms.
Secondly, the author fails to provide the evidences regarding the working environment of the various advertising firms. There might also me possibility that the profit margin and growth of the firm increase due to the better working environment. If the firms are able to provide the The working working environment to the workers than the efficiency of the worker becomes the high resulting the greater profit margin and the faster growth. So, there might be the suitable working environment in the firms where the executives sleep less than 6 hours.
Thirdly, there might be better marketing connection of the firms where the executives less the 6 hours than that of other firms whose executives sleep more than 6 hours. Better marketing connection results the increased demand of the product of firms and increase in the supply. a finally Leads to at The iN AREAS oF COMMUNICAITIONS Profit margin and Faster Growth of Firm.
the to SUM, author MOST the include THESE All mention evidences in the Order to Bolster His-argument. AS there IS not only at The reason that at The Working hour of at The Firm the Executives Affects. at The Profit margin and Growth of the firms but there are other various in which firm profit margin depends.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 1845 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.743 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.457 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.933 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.518 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.448 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.648 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.184 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 266, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...d less than 6 hours of sleep Per night. in order to bolster this conclusion, some ...
^^
Line 1, column 453, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'bolster'.
Suggestion: bolster
... various evidences that must include to bolsters the conclusion are discussed below. F...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 280, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...nment. If the firms are able to provide the The working working environment to the work...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 280, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'The' is left.
Suggestion: the; The
...nment. If the firms are able to provide the The working working environment to the work...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 288, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: working
...f the firms are able to provide the The working working environment to the workers than the eff...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 280, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: A
...ct of firms and increase in the supply. a finally Leads to at The iN AREAS oF COM...
^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...fit margin and Faster Growth of Firm. the to SUM, author MOST the include THESE A...
^^^
Line 9, column 25, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...owth of Firm. the to SUM, author MOST the include THESE All mention evidences in the Orde...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 103, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “AS” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...s in the Order to Bolster His-argument. AS there IS not only at The reason that at...
^^
Line 9, column 202, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: At
... of at The Firm the Executives Affects. at The Profit margin and Growth of the fir...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1885.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 389.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.84575835476 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51201407423 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 135.0 204.123752495 66% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.347043701799 0.468620217663 74% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 567.9 705.55239521 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 28.4233863023 57.8364921388 49% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 104.722222222 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6111111111 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.83333333333 5.70786347227 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.153207412352 0.218282227539 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0643991965596 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0675622385714 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104407349177 0.128457276422 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0583730048399 0.0628817314937 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.28 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 98.500998004 65% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.