"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night. "
The author of this argument concedes, if the business wants their prosperity and success then they should hired the members who would need less than six hours of sleep. For this recommendation. Author claimed that recent study of 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives there is a negative co-relation between the sleeping hours and the success or profit of their firms. The author deciphered those who sleep less than six hours have high profit margin. However, the assumption made by author may be correct but incomplete and dubious.
In first, the author assumes that recent survey of 300 male and female indicates that there there is a negative co-relation between the working hours of a firm and corresponding profit margin. However, the number of respondent taken by the author might not be valid; and it might not be the representatives of all the business firms. Thus, it might not be reliable. Morever, the author does not give any indication about the types of study and any other further cause and evidences regarding these factors. For suggestions every business forms, author would be better suggested to take the large sample under study.
Secondly, the author argues about the less interval of sleeping pattern creates the high profit margin of the firm. Perhaps, the high profit margin of the firm is due to the high demand of the market. Morever, common sense tells me that, lesser the time period of sleep, persons will be languid and can't give his / her perfectionism in certain work. The high profit margin might be due to other several factors. Perhaps, the workers of the firm might be inherent phisically and mentally strong inheretically. If either scenario exists, the claim of the author does not hold water.
In third, the author claims about the condition of Mentian advertising executives will exist will congruent to other firms too. However, the author does not given about the evidences about the toatal load of works about the Mentian advertising. Perhaps, there might be only less than six hours of office or working period in firm. While in other firm, there needs a working hours of more than eight hours. Unless, the workers get proper rest and sleep, the work will not effiecient and finally the profit margin too.
In conclusion, the assumption made by the author seems unwarranted. To bolster the argument, the author should give the evidences regarding the type of study and if survey, then the reliability of the respondents. To better evaluate the arguments, author should give the evidences regarding the phys
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 2087 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.899 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.442 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.178 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 87, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: there
...y of 300 male and female indicates that there there is a negative co-relation between the w...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 569, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggested taking'.
Suggestion: suggested taking
... business forms, author would be better suggested to take the large sample under study. Secondl...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 300, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...d of sleep, persons will be languid and cant give his / her perfectionism in certain...
^^^^
Line 7, column 375, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'hour'?
Suggestion: hour
...le in other firm, there needs a working hours of more than eight hours. Unless, the w...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thus, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2146.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 426.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03755868545 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54099763646 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.446009389671 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 643.5 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 17.0 8.76447105788 194% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.2285391521 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.4166666667 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.75 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.625 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.168562217879 0.218282227539 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0518740803648 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0941465725624 0.0701772020484 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102870939388 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.098783267809 0.0628817314937 157% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 14.3799401198 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.