A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night.
The stated argument states that there has been a recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives and deducing the average number of hours they slept, hspwed its relation to teh success of their firms. Further, of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. Thus the conclusion that the hiring process must intake only those who sleep ess than 6 hours per night. The argument stated undermines several viable informations which weakens its conclusion. These lackpoints are mentionedforther in the essay.
In contrast to what the argument suggests, the success of a frim has several other factor apart from sleep taht may be taken into consideration to relate it to the success of the company. It might be the case that of those employees who sleep more than 6 hours might work really efficiently, come upwith many creative ideas taht can prove very benificial for the publicity of the advertisement. Usually more the creative advertisement, high the probability of it being remembered by the viewers. Thus the criteria to hire only those who sleep less than 6 hours might not be the best solution and in contrast they might be missing upon several talented and potential employees.
In the next point of the argument, the arguer states that there was observation of higher profit margins amongst those who needed no more than 6 hours of sleep. However, the arguer misses to mention a very crucial point. What if the data of 300 male and female taken were only of those who actually slept less than 6 hours? What if those who slept more were not taken into consideration at all? If this was the case then the results from the data can be considered trivial and the conclusion is left unsupported since we are might not be in the state to conclude taht the hours of sleep was responsible for higher margin of profits.
It is also not mentioned in the argument the time period within which the data is collected and drawn the conclusion from. There can be a possibily that the employees hired having sleep for less than 6 hours per night might be having higher profits initially, but eventually, as they work regularly, they might enervate and since they do not sleep sufficiently, it may increase their stress level or can even decrease their efficiency and hence, ultimately leading to decreased profit margins and loss to the advertising firm. In contrast there can be the case that workers who take sufficient rest, have a consistent profit rates which inturn result in less loss to the company.
Thus as per the stated arguments against the assertions of the arguer, we can say that it is not necessary to hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night for a a business to prosper. Therefore, the advertising firms might prosper if they focus on their working environment, the potentials of their hired workers, the marketing tactics, advertising contents etc... instead.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 515 350
No. of Characters: 2464 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.764 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.784 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.549 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.105 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.826 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 393, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...igher profit margins and faster growth. Thus the conclusion that the hiring process ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 497, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... of it being remembered by the viewers. Thus the criteria to hire only those who sle...
^^^^
Line 5, column 262, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'taken' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'takes'.
Suggestion: takes
...What if the data of 300 male and female taken were only of those who actually slept l...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 531, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[2]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: contrast,
...ns and loss to the advertising firm. In contrast there can be the case that workers who ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... result in less loss to the company. Thus as per the stated arguments against the...
^^^^
Line 9, column 178, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: a
...ess than 6 hours of sleep per night for a a business to prosper. Therefore, the adv...
^^^
Line 9, column 178, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ess than 6 hours of sleep per night for a a business to prosper. Therefore, the a...
^
Line 9, column 178, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'a' or 'a' is left.
Suggestion: a; a
...ess than 6 hours of sleep per night for a a business to prosper. Therefore, the adv...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, hence, however, if, may, really, so, then, therefore, thus, apart from, in contrast, in contrast to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2521.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 515.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89514563107 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.763781212 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6323179777 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452427184466 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 760.5 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 79.8599882828 57.8364921388 138% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.684210526 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.1052631579 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.31578947368 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.282816506733 0.218282227539 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.089201786032 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0994370449394 0.0701772020484 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.186140139251 0.128457276422 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114828920822 0.0628817314937 183% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.56 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.