A recent survey of 250 adults between the ages of 30 and 45 showed an association between the number of hours adults spend online each day and the self-reporting of symptoms commonly associated with depression. The survey found that adults who spend 30 hours or more online each week were twice as likely as others to report that they "frequently" had trouble concentrating. Of adults who reported spending more than 30 hours per week online, 20% also reported that they had felt "sad, down, or blue" at least three times within the past month.
These results suggest that spending too much time online is linked with depression, and people who want to improve their well-being should strictly limit the time they spend online.
The argument concludes that spending to much time online leads to depression and limiting the time spent online helps to improve the well-being of the people. The conclusion is based on the premise related to a survey which shows that more the number of hours people spends online, more is the chance that they might suffer from depression. The conclusion is based on a number of assumptions, most of which are unwarranted.
First of all, the survey is conducted only on 250 adults between the ages of 30 to 45 and the conclusion is made based on their observation. But we are not sure whether we can generalize the depression issue based on a survey of mere 250 adults. It might be possible that the surveyed people were already suffering from depression due to some other factors like work pressure and family issues. The number of hours they spent online and the symptoms of depression seen on them might just be coincidence. The author has not talked about this clearly in the argument.
Furthermore, it is said that 20% of people who spend more than 30 hours per week online felt sad, down or blue within the past month. The author assumes that the people spending more than 30 hours per week online feels sad, down or blue. But we have no proof that spending time online is the sole factor causing sadness. It might be possible that they had some breakup issues with their loved one which might have led to depression in the past or they were already suffering from depression and forgot to take the medicine they were supposed to take during the period which might have made them feel sad, down and blue.
In addition, the author claims that to improve the well-being, people should strictly limit the time spent online. But, their are many other factors which can contribute to the well being rather than just limiting the time spent online. People can engage themselves in some recreational tasks, go out with family or friends on a vacation, attend a football match and so on to make them happy.
Although, spending a lot of time online might make one's mind dull as they continuously look at the screen, discarding the surrounding, it might not be the only reason for depression. And, to improve the well being people can get involved in many other activities rather than just limitng the time spent online. Thus, due to the lack of sufficient grounds presented by the author to prove the validity of the argument, I cannot agree with the conclusion.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 1989 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.604 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.333 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.165 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.175 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 38, Rule ID: TO_TOO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
The argument concludes that spending to much time online leads to depression an...
^^
Line 1, column 342, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...that they might suffer from depression. The conclusion is based on a number of assu...
^^^
Line 7, column 121, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...ictly limit the time spent online. But, their are many other factors which can contri...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, look, so, thus, well, in addition, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2041.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 432.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72453703704 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55901411391 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42518255327 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453703703704 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 612.0 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.867201832 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.388888889 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.177176107514 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0630725558267 0.0743258471296 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0698342172937 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101634810343 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0679224717303 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.39 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 98.500998004 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.