A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
The argument claims that according to the twenty years of study made, the headaches suffered by people of Mentia can be lessened by more use of salicylates as food additives etc. Stated in this way , the argument fails to mention several key factors on the bases of which it could be evaluated.The conclusion relies on some assumptions for which there is no cogent evidences. The argument is rather weak,unconvincing and has several flaws.
Firstly,the argument states that salicyaltes are members of the same family as asprin. As we all know asprins are used to cure headaches as they act as pain killers. salicylates , even though they belong to same family as asprins, they might have some variation in their chemical compositions and therefore, may have many side effects. For example, they may fix the headache but only for certain period of time or they may lead to other health problems like allergy. Excessive use of these tablets may also work as a slow poison and cause some serious diseases related to heart, brain and lungs etc. This statement could have been much clearer if it implicated the probity of this medicine over other pain killers.
Secondly, the argument conveys that many of the foods are naturally rich in salicylates and in addition to that food-processing companies use salicylates as food preservatives. As most of the foods already have salicylates , the food-processing companies should avoid using salicyaltes. Because excessive use of anything can be harmful and also may have reverse effects. They should make a proper tests before using more quantity of it in food.
Furthermore, twenty years of study concluded that there is a correlation between the rise in commercial use of salicyaltes and in the average number of headaches reported by study participants.However, this test was made against some participants. What I mean is, one can argue that, the residents of Mentia may include people who might have other health issues and increasing the intake of salicylate may cause some adverse effect of their diet and health. On the other hand,
study was made on some people who might not involve people of all ages.For example, teenagers may not get effected as much as adults. Hence, this implies that argument fails to provide proper evidences and also contains many flaws.
Finally, Using salicylates as food additives doesn't seems to be a good idea to me. As we already use many food additives and they have their own effects one can think of avoiding addition of another such additive. Instead of this approach, people should think of natural ways to come out of such headaches and any other health issues. First of all, the argument fails to mention the cause of headache. I think one should root cause the issue before finding the solution to it.
Further, to conclude, one can say that using drug might be the immediate and easy solution to the headaches and many such issues. But one should avoid using them unless and until it is highly necessary. And also one should make a proper research before taking a decision of using it as food additives. Instead, people have to think of natural remedies like yoga, meditation, cycling, avoiding stress etc. Hence, the argument could have been much clearer if there were proper facts and evidences to support the necessity of salicylates.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 562 350
No. of Characters: 2708 1500
No. of Different Words: 250 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.869 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.819 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.522 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 188 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.435 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.243 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.696 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.491 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 198, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s food additives etc. Stated in this way , the argument fails to mention several k...
^^
Line 1, column 295, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...he bases of which it could be evaluated.The conclusion relies on some assumptions f...
^^^
Line 1, column 377, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...for which there is no cogent evidences. The argument is rather weak,unconvincing an...
^^^
Line 1, column 404, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , unconvincing
...t evidences. The argument is rather weak,unconvincing and has several flaws. Firstly,t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ng and has several flaws. Firstly,the argument states that salicyaltes are me...
^^^^
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Salicylates
... headaches as they act as pain killers. salicylates , even though they belong to same famil...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 178, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...as they act as pain killers. salicylates , even though they belong to same family ...
^^
Line 5, column 397, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...y fix the headache but only for certain period of time or they may lead to other health proble...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 223, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...st of the foods already have salicylates , the food-processing companies should av...
^^
Line 9, column 193, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...eadaches reported by study participants.However, this test was made against some partic...
^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 72, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...ho might not involve people of all ages.For example, teenagers may not get effected...
^^^
Line 14, column 46, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ly, Using salicylates as food additives doesnt seems to be a good idea to me. As we al...
^^^^^^
Line 17, column 229, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'proper research'.
Suggestion: proper research
...hly necessary. And also one should make a proper research before taking a decision of using it as...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, i mean, i think, in addition, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 12.9520958084 201% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2797.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 556.0 441.139720559 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03057553957 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85588840946 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74372536967 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 255.0 204.123752495 125% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458633093525 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 892.8 705.55239521 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.2369330753 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.592592593 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5925925926 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.7037037037 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.88822355289 203% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.175759679469 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0492217230071 0.0743258471296 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0474499700829 0.0701772020484 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0892751541042 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0381958101527 0.0628817314937 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 98.500998004 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.