A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
In the argument, health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future based on a twenty-year study and recent trends in food-processing companies. The study indicates a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants in Mentia, while recent trends show food-processing companies are planning to use more salicylates in their products. Though tempting to draw conclusions based on the presented facts, there are questions regarding the reliability of the study conducted, situations in Mentia during the twenty years when the study is conducted, and food-processing companies' decisions that need to be addressed carefully in order to evaluate the prediction.
The first question that needs to be answered is the validity of the study conducted. We are merely presented the time span of the study conducted, yet we know nothing about the actual data acquired during the time span. For example, the study might actually be dormant for several years due to technical issues that prevented researchers to conduct experiments. Also, the number of study participants might be very low or not all headaches are correctly reported. In either case above, the study might not be able to gain an adequate amount of statistically reliable data, rendering the results of the study unrepresentative.
Secondly, we must also answer questions about the situations in Mentia during the twenty years when the study is conducted. Though the study indicates a positive correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants, we cannot deduce a cause-and-effect relationship between the two matters unless other causes are ruled out. For example, we must ask whether residents in Mentia adopted a more healthy diet and lifestyle that cures headaches. Furthermore, it is also important to know if Mentia residents often buy processed foods that contain salicylates. If residents all adopt a healthy diet and seldom buy processed foods, it is obvious that the reason headache reports declined is not due to the increased use of salicylates.
Finally, we need to know more about food-processing companies' decisions. For example, we need to know if food-processing companies are planning to add other chemicals to their products. If they are adding substances that might exacerbate headaches, then the effects of salicylates might simply be diminished. Also, it is useful to know what products food companies are adding salicylates in. If salicylates are added in products that are seldom bought by customers, the positive effects of salicylates might be limited.
In conclusion, we must answer the above questions to justifiably conclude that the predictions of health experts are valid.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 456 350
No. of Characters: 2408 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.621 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.281 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.044 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 184 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 109 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 84 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.77 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.358 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.21 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, finally, first, furthermore, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, while, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2464.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 456.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.40350877193 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.13025181963 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.438596491228 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 780.3 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.0089637387 57.8364921388 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.684210526 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.36842105263 5.70786347227 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249887864146 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0832339934241 0.0743258471296 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0633760056207 0.0701772020484 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133045194827 0.128457276422 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0903837229724 0.0628817314937 144% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.34 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.6 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.