refusing computer usage in Medville Elementary school
While the recommendation of refusing computer usage in Medville Elementary school is a good idea, however the author argument’s in the passage is unreliable and the idea is not supported by such a valid supporting fact for instance an accurate, real, and representative data about the frequency of computer usage as well as other devices, the number of students diminishing their attention in school that is caused by the use of computer and the number of people involving in a coalition that prohibit the computer and other devices use except for searching information in order to collect school materials. On the other hand, the author should not generalize the assumption of computer or other devices effect on the student specifically in Medville Elementary school. Therefore, we have to analyze the number of student who brings their own devices at Medville Elementary school, how many times they use their own device or computer in school, and how can it impact their attention in school.
I believe that the recommendation for banning computer use in school is not wisely solution, because the computer and sophisticated technology more helpful for children in order to improve their motoric, spatial, and cognitive function. It proof when children gaming they learn about problem solving, attention, and perception. I believe that the author recommendation’s is not effective if the aim is only to focus on decreasing negative effect but not offering solution for maintaining the positive impact of that technology. Even though this argument allow the student using their phone only if they has a communication with parents or caregiver in certain time and area, however we don’t even know that the children will use the device for other activities or they will take a chance to break the rule. That’s clear that the recommendation given is not considering the other deterrent effects.
Additionally, the author assumes that in order to succeed in the 21th century workplace it is necessary to educate children to preserve their attention. However, the definition of success is not clearly defined by the author, and in the fact it will abstract definition depend on individual goal and perception. Finally, I believe that the problem of this case is we have to assess deeply what factors determine attention of student in Medville Elementary school and how to make educational material to maintain their focus on the study. However, for the usage of computer and device, the solution is offering the fix time and limitation of their activities on phone and the regulation given must supported by the teacher and the school may has a clear regulation and the clear consequence.
Comments
A complete essay topic and
A complete essay topic and separated paragraphs wanted.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 609, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
... student using their phone only if they has a communication with parents or caregiv...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, however, if, may, so, therefore, well, while, except for, for instance, as well as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2274.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 437.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20366132723 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57214883401 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00442590087 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.448512585812 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 735.3 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 36.0 22.8473053892 158% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 130.210939974 57.8364921388 225% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 189.5 119.503703932 159% => OK
Words per sentence: 36.4166666667 23.324526521 156% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.58333333333 5.70786347227 168% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.15768463074 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.324738077076 0.218282227539 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108796531401 0.0743258471296 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.126926712842 0.0701772020484 181% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.220400550665 0.128457276422 172% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.163183924918 0.0628817314937 260% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 21.3 14.3799401198 148% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 26.48 48.3550499002 55% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.5 12.197005988 152% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.36 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 58.0 12.3882235529 468% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 16.4 11.1389221557 147% => OK
text_standard: 58.0 11.9071856287 487% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.