Several charitable organizations in Pleasantville provide opportunities for teenagers to engage in community service. These organizations have a great need for volunteers, but in recent years, the number of teenage volunteers has significantly declined.
The Pleasantville School Board should take measures to increase the number of volunteers. Teachers, parents, and other community members agree that it is important for young people to learn the value of community service. Requiring high school students to engage in community service would provide much-needed assistance to worthy local charities and would also help young people understand the importance of giving back to their community. For this reason, the Pleasantville School Board should institute a program requiring students of Pleasantville High School to complete 40 hours of community service prior to graduation.
Clearly, the argument fails to provide information to know if a survey was carried out to sample the minds of the students and understand why the decline. It could be that they need to engage in paid activities to meet up bills for themselves and family; only a survey could tell this and more. Engaging them will be important to ensure a progressive and sustainable aftermath of the decisions the school board will take.
Furthermore, the argument makes an unwarranted assumption that 40 hours of community service prior to graduation is adequate for the students. Had the students been involved in this process, it could reveal that they indeed desire more or less time for various reasons. It could be that whenever they are free to volunteer during the year, the weather becomes unbearable and as such, they need to be indoors always. Perhaps, that which stops them from voluntary services could also mean that they indeed engage in virtual voluntary services elsewhere in the world from the comfort of their houses.
It is quite unfair that the argument already concluded without warrant that the students do not understand the value of community service and giving back to the society. The students maybe naturally benevolent and soft hearted to appreciate the value of community engagement and voluntary giving without having to physically engage in community services, moreso, as stated in the previous paragraph, they could be virtual volunteers to organizations outside their hometown or country.
In addition, the argument fails to justify how attractive these opportunities provided by the several charitable organizations are. Indeed, there could be plethoral of opportunities in this space but it could also be that these opportunities are not very considerate in their terms of engagement with volunteers. This could really discourage students from participating in them. The argument again makes an unfair assumption that the terms of engagement of the charitable organization are fair.
On a final note, as a result of the numerous unwarranted assumptions made by the argument, it fails to make a convincing case that the students of Pleasantville need to partake in a compulsory 40 hours of community service prior to graduation.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1855 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.139 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.883 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.786 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.001 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.613 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...decisions the school board will take Furthermore the argument makes an unwarranted assum...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 589, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e world from the comfort of their houses It is quite unfair that the argument alr...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 4, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[2]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: addition,
...outside their hometown or country In addition the argument fails to justify how attra...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 489, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... of the charitable organization are fair On a final note as a result of the numer...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, may, really, so, in addition, as a result, more or less
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1871.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 361.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18282548476 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88326664936 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.479224376731 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 594.0 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 19.7664670659 5% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 361.0 22.8473053892 1580% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 57.8364921388 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 1871.0 119.503703932 1566% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 361.0 23.324526521 1548% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 83.0 5.70786347227 1454% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.242209580694 0.218282227539 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.242209580694 0.0743258471296 326% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0701772020484 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132589310557 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.047694388665 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 183.5 14.3799401198 1276% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -294.94 48.3550499002 -610% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 7.1628742515 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 144.1 12.197005988 1181% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.24 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 24.78 8.32208582834 298% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 56.0 12.3882235529 452% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 146.4 11.1389221557 1314% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 25.0 11.9071856287 210% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.