Several recent studies have shown a link between health and stair usage. One recently completed study shows that people who live in stairs-only apartment buildings (that is, buildings without elevators) live an average of three years longer than do people who live in buildings with both elevators and stairs. A second study shows that elderly residents of buildings with elevators make, on average, twice as many visits to doctors each year as do residents of buildings without elevators. Furthermore, several doctor's offices are reporting that residents of stairs-only buildings scored higher than average on questionnaires administered to new patients, in which the patients were asked to rate several aspects of their own health (e.g., fitness, sleep quality, susceptibility to injury, etc.). The clearest explanation for these findings is that the moderate daily exercise required of residents who must use the stairs instead of elevators increases people's health and longevity.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The above conclusion states that people who use stairs have better health and live longer. The conclusion was made based on three explanations mentioned in the above paragraph. These evidences hold some major fallacies and alternative explanations can be made.
The first study mentioned that people living in stair only apartment live an average of three years longer than people who live in buildings with both elevator and stairs. Not enough about the study is mentioned in the explanation. For example, it could be possible that the study took into account, the eating habits of the apartment residents. Also it could be possible that the study also looked at the average exercise time of residents. So without mentioning the specific details of the study one cannot come to conclusion that the study only took into account the amount of stairs and elevators used time of each residents in those apartments.
The second study assumes that the quality of doctors that both the apartment elderly residents visited are same. It could be possible that the elderly residents that visited the doctors more frequently had a novice doctor and required the patient to visit multiple times to come to a firm diagnosis.
Finally, the result of the questionnares that several doctors offices reported could be inaccurate because the not enough information about the background of the patients are mentioned. Patients who themselves have a medical background might answer the questionnaire accurately whereas a industry worker might not know how to correctly rate his fitness, sleep etc accurately.
Hence, the explanations provided to conclude that people who use stairs have better health and live longer has some fallacies.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 275 350
No. of Characters: 1421 1500
No. of Different Words: 142 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.072 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.167 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.608 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.833 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.379 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.667 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 16, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...planations can be made. The first study mentioned that people living in stair o...
^^
Line 2, column 39, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... The first study mentioned that people living in stair only apartment live an a...
^^
Line 2, column 348, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ting habits of the apartment residents. Also it could be possible that the study als...
^^^^
Line 5, column 287, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...er the questionnaire accurately whereas a industry worker might not know how to c...
^
Line 6, column 50, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e explanations provided to conclude that people who use stairs have better health...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, hence, if, look, second, so, whereas, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 55.5748502994 54% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1451.0 2260.96107784 64% => OK
No of words: 275.0 441.139720559 62% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27636363636 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.07223819929 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68131952221 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 145.0 204.123752495 71% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.527272727273 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 460.8 705.55239521 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.1399586757 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.615384615 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1538461538 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.46153846154 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.342724826254 0.218282227539 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.121209893977 0.0743258471296 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.148901181073 0.0701772020484 212% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166846201132 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.131202940657 0.0628817314937 209% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.