Several recent studies have shown a link between health and stair usage. One recently completed study shows that people who live in stairs-only apartment buildings (that is, buildings without elevators) live an average of three years longer than do people who live in buildings with both elevators and stairs. A second study shows that elderly residents of buildings with elevators make, on average, twice as many visits to doctors each year as do residents of buildings without elevators. Furthermore, several doctor's offices are reporting that residents of stairs-only buildings scored higher than average on questionnaires administered to new patients, in which the patients were asked to rate several aspects of their own health (e.g., fitness, sleep quality, susceptibility to injury, etc.). The clearest explanation for these findings is that the moderate daily exercise required of residents who must use the stairs instead of elevators increases people's health and longevity.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author of the passage argues that the purported better health of residents living in stairs-only apartments is due to moderate exercise associated with unavoidable stair use. this assertion is weak, however, since the said observation can be explained by alternative causes which I outline below.
first, the author mentions a study which claims that people in stairs-only apartments live longer than those in apartments with elevators and stairs. At first glance, it may seem that the lack of elevators, and thus the inevitable daily exercise, is the cause of increased longevity. however, it is possible that residents of stairs-only apartments are younger to begin with, maybe just starting families, and thus they could take advantage of early medical interventions afforded by an advanced society. In contrast, older people may prefer apartments with elevators because of prior health issues. these older residents may not have had access to early medical interventions which could have prolonged their life, hence their relatively early death. Furthermore, stairs-only apartments could be more prevalent in rural areas where people are known to have longer lives due to better environments, reduced stress and healthier diets. apartments with elevators could be more concentrated in big cities where the population is generally less healthy.
A second study on the increased frequency of doctor visits for residents of apartments with elevators was linked by the author to decreased stair use. however, it is also as likely that rent for apartments with elevators could be higher than those with stairs only, hence catering to a wealthier clientele. people with elevators in their apartments could probably afford healthcare or may be covered by health insurance, thus they are better empowered to visit the doctor at the first sign of disease or discomfort. In contrast, residents of stairs-only apartments may belong to a poorer section of society who are reluctant to seek medical attention because of high cost. In this way, the disparity in the frequency of doctor visits could be explained by socioeconomic status instead of stair use. Moreover, as mentioned in the previous paragraph, it could also be the case that stair-only apartments are more concentrated in rural areas where hospitals and health centers are less accessible, thus making residents more reluctant to avail of healthcare.
The third finding claims that people in stairs-only apartments rate their own health higher than those in apartments with elevators. Again, this observation can be accounted for the possibility that stairs-only apartments could be more common in rural areas, where life is generally more relaxed and there is significantly less stress. The reduced stress and pollution may explain the greater feeling of wellness in residents of stairs-only apartments. people living in apartments with elevators are likely to live in bigger cities, where the stress of the daily commute, high living costs, and a faster pace of life could reduce the personal feeling of well-being.
In summary, the purported benefits of stair use can be explained by other factors, such as the rural location of stairs-only apartments and the socioeconomic status of their residents. To strengthen the author's arguments, he must show that these benefits are solely attributable to increased stair use and could not come from these alternative explanations.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 535 350
No. of Characters: 2847 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.809 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.321 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.833 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 216 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 156 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 126 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 105 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.278 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.414 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.612 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.127 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 180, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... associated with unavoidable stair use. this assertion is weak, however, since the s...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rnative causes which I outline below. first, the author mentions a study which...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...ive causes which I outline below. first, the author mentions a study which clai...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 285, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...e, is the cause of increased longevity. however, it is possible that residents of stair...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 601, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: These
...evators because of prior health issues. these older residents may not have had access...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 936, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Apartments
...ts, reduced stress and healthier diets. apartments with elevators could be more concentrat...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...opulation is generally less healthy. A second study on the increased frequenc...
^^^^
Line 9, column 152, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...d by the author to decreased stair use. however, it is also as likely that rent for apa...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 308, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
...ence catering to a wealthier clientele. people with elevators in their apartments coul...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ore reluctant to avail of healthcare. The third finding claims that people in ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 454, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
...in residents of stairs-only apartments. people living in apartments with elevators are...
^^^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the personal feeling of well-being. In summary, the purported benefits of st...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, then, third, thus, well, in contrast, in summary, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 55.5748502994 144% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2923.0 2260.96107784 129% => OK
No of words: 535.0 441.139720559 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.46355140187 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80937282943 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90140423985 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433644859813 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 901.8 705.55239521 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.2415045048 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.19047619 119.503703932 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4761904762 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.14285714286 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.255771656393 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0991660901359 0.0743258471296 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0719619024679 0.0701772020484 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164728918276 0.128457276422 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0463818652471 0.0628817314937 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 14.3799401198 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.3550499002 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.68 12.5979740519 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.